Rap To My Heart Beat (BAP BangLo)
by EchoXMatsuyama
Summary: Description Zelo has a horrible past and when his parents die a great weight is lifted from the 17 year olds shoulders. Now his distant cousin Himchan takes custody of him, and due to his job he cannot be with Zelo 24/7 and so he leaves the young teen in the oh so caring hands of his best friend Yongguk. Will Yongguk be able to handle someone so broken and messed up as Zelo?
1. Come in Smiling

Rap To My Heart Beat

BangLo

Characters

Bang Yongguk, Choi Junhong, B.A.P, OC's

Description

Zelo has a horrible past and when his parents die a great weight is lifted from the 17 year olds shoulders. Now his distant cousin Himchan takes custody of him, and due to his job he cannot be with Zelo 24/7 and so he leaves the young teen in the oh so caring hands of his best friend Yongguk. Will Yongguk be able to handle someone so broken and messed up as Zelo? And will Zelo be able to stop putting up a barrier between him and people and open up to Yongguk?

This is set in a AU world. Zelo - 17, Yongguk -24, Himchan-24.

Warning: This has violence, self harm, guy on guy sex, straight sex, underage sex(since Zelo is only 17), rape, prostitution, and other things that might be uncomfortable for some veiwers, you have been warned so please if you can not handle reading this them please leave and read something more fluffyer.

Disclaimer: I do not own B.A.P or any of it's members. All that is mine is this story.

Foreword

Zelo's POV

This is real isn't it? My fingers feel numb and it hurts to move them. The cold air of the basement nips at my exposed skin. All i am currently wearing is my black boxers. That was the only thing i was allowed to wear, the only article of clothing those bastards would allow me to put on. My knees were covered in dirt and a raw red from kneeing on the hard ground for long periods of time.

This is how I'm suppose to make a living, right? Just let these older men, married men, sick men, come into this nightmare called home and ravish my body until they are satisfied and able to go on dealing with their miserable lives...well mines is no better. If i do what i'm told i get food, i get shealter, and most of all i get no beatings. All i have to do is just keep on surviving like this and maybe one day they will let me go, and i could try and live a normal life in society.

A normal life...i wonder what it's like...

**Chapter One: Come In Smiling**

Zelo's POV

_I was running, running, running, and then I tripped. My arms broke my fall and I could just feel the cuts the hard concrete ground made. Paying no attention to the pain I pushed myself to my feet and continued to run. That's all I have to do is run. I can't stop. If I stop who knows what would happen. The pain would be way worse than any cut could ever make. I can't let them catch me, I can't, I can't, I can't._

_ Then that's when a bright light at the end of the stretched hall way appears to 'turn on' in a sense. This is new, a light? I've never seen one there before. It's just supposed to be the same old dirty yellowing walls and dirt littered grey concrete._

_A silhouette appears, and no matter how fast I run I cannot catch up to the shadow to see who it is. All I know is that it is a man, and the aura around him is something I want to achieve. I want to get closer, just so I can be enveloped in the warmth his body is emitting._

_But I can't, I can't reach him. My legs move faster and I can feel my muscles straining themselves, but no matter how hard I try, or how hard I push myself I am nowhere near him._

_ Tears begin to flow from my tear ducts, and I don't even try and stop them. I will cry and cry and cry tell I can be in this figures presence. I feel like I NEED to be near him, just so that I can feel secure and achieve something as abstract as happiness._

"Ze…w..You…Zelo!"

My eyes snapped open and I found myself springing up and my body moved on its own so that I was now sitting flushed against the wall of my new room. My eyes were probably wide with shock and confusion; maybe I was even a little scared. My brain has yet to wake and I was unprepared for the reality I awoke into.

"Whoa, whoa kiddo calm down." I tensed and was about to run away as I felt a hand touch my shoulder, but as soon as his hand made contact with my bare shoulder I instantly came back down to earth. My vision came into focus and I turned to see my cousin Himchan sitting on the edge of my bed looking at me with worry. As all my senses were coming back to me I realized that I had tears streaming down my face…I was crying. And to make it even worse Himchan saw me cry. I don't like people seeing me look weak. I cannot burden them with my own screwed up emotions.

"It's okay Zelo…you're safe remember." His voice was soft and full of care. It was such a dramatic change then what I'm use to I didn't know how to correctly respond, instead I just quickly wiped away the tears and forced a smile.

"I-I know cuz…I-I'm fine." I lied through my smile. Don't burden people Zelo.

"Are you sure? You were crying, do you want to talk about it?" He asked as he slowly rubbed my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

I shook my head no, and Himchan being Himchan understood that I don't want to talk about it tell I'm ready.

"Well then, it's time…do you have everything packed?" He asked and I nodded my head yes. "Good, then let's go eat some breakfast and then I'll take you to your new home."

I crawled out of bed and straightened out the muscle shirt I wore. It was nice to be able to wear a shirt. As we walked into the kitchen, Himchan was telling me how I'm going to love living with his friend. It turns out that Himchan's job as a CEO is hard work and that they are sending him overseas for a company job, and he said he doesn't want to leave me alone for too long so now I have to go live with some high school buddy of his.

"Alright dig in; you need to build up your strength." Himchan said as he too began to eat his food. Licking my lips I was kind of hesitant and my eyes darted to Himchan to make sure it was really ok to eat this, and all he did was smile that soft smile of his and I dived into the pancakes.

I've been living with Himchan for a week now and I still feel like I'm back in that place and that Himchan is in league with my parents…I mean who would take a worthless kid like me in unless they had some hidden agenda. I was really weary at first, I didn't want to eat or drink, instead I spent the whole day sleeping with one eye open. This all felt like a dream. None of this is real, I will wake up and be in that basement again on a lumpy cold mattress that has long since been worn living in fear of the next person to come down the stairs.

"Earth to Zelo." Pulling myself out of my thoughts I blushed as I realized Himchan was talking to me.

"Are you ready?" He asked again. I nodded my head and he stood up taking both of our plates.

Well until he shows his true self I will try and be normal…if he really doesn't have any hidden plans with me then I should be as kind to him as he is to me. Normal Zelo, be normal.

We were now in the car diving to his friend's house, and my stomach is doing summersaults. And my thoughts were racing about what kind of person this guy is. I was scared, but I didn't want to tell Himchan. He's done a lot for me, new clothes, video games, a new life, and I have no right to let him know I am scared of his friend that I don't even know. I need to just calm down…calm down and just think. If this guy is really bad, he can't be as bad as what you've already experienced in your 17 years on this Earth, right?

RIGHT, I'm going to be fine, because even if he is a horrible being I cannot burden Himchan. I will stick through this for him.

But then again there was this little feeling in the back of my heart that was telling me everything was going to be ok, and I felt inclined to trust it. Everything is going to be okay, I'm going to be okay.

"We're here!" Himchan said as he pulled the car in front of a large apartment complex. I swallowed a lump in my throat and just as I was about to get out of the car Himchan stopped me. "Um hold on Kiddo, let me go and tell him that you're here so that he can clean up a little."

I felt a little shocked, I thought this guy knew I was coming over today…I nodded my head and Himchan got out of the car and headed inside. Locking the doors out of fear of the strangers that walked by, I leaned back and began to play the new game Himchan bought me.

Yongguk's POV

I groaned as I heard a knock on my door. I was in the middle of writing a new rap and I hate it when I'm interrupted. I was tempted to just let the person think nobody's home, but the knocking didn't stop. Sighing to myself I stood from my desk in the back room and made my way to the front door.

When I opened it, I couldn't help but smile. "Hey Him channie." I said pulling the other man into a short hug.

"Hey man, I brought the kid." Himchan got straight to the point as he allowed himself inside, and for a moment I was confused. What kid?

Then is clicked, todays the day…shit I forgot. I was on the verge of panicking, I didn't clean up, or even stock the fridge for the poor kid. He's a teenager right? Kids gotta' eat.

"Hey, calm down, haha." Himchan said letting out one of his low chuckles, "I told the kid to wait in the car so that you could clean up real quick, and here for all his expenses." Himchan took out a brown envelope from his back pocket. The thing was pretty thick and I was left wondering how that thing even fitted in his pocket.

I felt my cheeks heat up that he told my new roommate that I practically forgot he was coming, but none the less I took the envelope. "Okay well you go get the kid and I'll straighten up…take your time ok." Turning on my heels I rushed into the living room where I quickly stuffed magazines and books onto the small bookshelf in the corner and tossed my CD's onto my desk along with the envelope.

I pretty sure the kid wouldn't mind too much that the place is a little dirty, but I still want it to look like a nice clean person lives here, i.e. me. Just as I was about done realization hit me…I left my porno's out in the bed room. I heard a knock on the door. Porno's first Yongguk! I scolded myself for leaving such scandalous things out, but then again I forgot I was even having company over. Ignoring the constant knocking I rushed into the bedroom and quickly stuffed the DVD's under the bed, I'll fully put them away later.

Running down the hall way I came to the front door, and before I opened it I released a long held breathe of air of nervousness. I hope the kid likes me to say the least.

Opening the door the first face I saw was Himchan and behind him was the kid, but I couldn't see his face dues to the huge duffle bag he carried. Pushing the door open fully I stepped to the side and allowed the two inside. I turned my body and closed the door, hearing them drop the luggage on the wood floor.

"There you go Zelo, told you one trip would be enough." Himchan said. When I turned around I couldn't stop myself from just looking at the kid. I know how this is going to sound, and I know for a fact that I'm not gay, but this kid was beautiful. He had soft looking blond hair and even softer brown eyes that held something that was too rough looking for a kids eyes to be holding. He has silky pale skin that looked smooth to the touch. I just have to admit that this kid is truly an angle. He's even better looking than most girls I know.

"Yeah I guess so." The kid scratched the back of his head well smiling, and I must say that smile was something. Those plump pale pink lips curved up showing brilliant white teeth. His eyes would close adding to the cuteness of the action. I've never seen anyone with such an amazing smile before. I felt my heart skip a beat, but I would never admit that.

"Well Zelo this is my friend Bang Yongguk, and Yongguk this is Choi Junhong, but he prefers to be called Zelo." Himchan said as he stepped aside so that I can put my hand in the boys as he extended it towards me. As soon as my fingers touched that skin of his I felt a wave of electricity flow though me.

"It's nice to meet you." His voice rolled through my ears like velvet. It was deep sure, but at the same time you can tell that he is still young and childlike. It was like music to my ea- I stopped myself in mid-sentence as I finally realized what has been going through this retarded mind of mine. I felt so mad at myself, I can't be checking this kid out, for one I have a girlfriend, two I'm not gay, and three he's only 17.

"Sa-same." I forced a smile and released the kid's hand.

"Okay now that you guys are acquainted I need to go so I can catch my plain. I will call you guys in a couple of days and then I will try and come see you guys in a week." Himchan side hugged me and said thanks and then went to Zelo. "Here's your new phone kiddo, mine and Yongguk's numbers are already in it, call me anytime okay?" Zelo took the phone and smiled nodding his head that he understood.

"Okay see you later have fun." He hugged Zelo and next thing I know he is out the door.

I awkwardly smile at the kid; this is going to be one long week.

~CHAPTER END~

I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter; I will rush the next one cuz I really feel like writing this one XD

If you guys could can you give me some constructive criticism, this is my first B.A.P fic after all. Thanks /

And special thanks to xXBangLoXx for being the first one to subscribe, you gave me motivation thank you!


	2. Scared and Annoyed

**Chapter Two: Scared and Annoyed**

A/N: I will try and get a chapter out at least once a week, just because I love this story idea and I am a huge perv XD Enjoy! And thank you to **baby_lfxx** for being the first one to comment. Motivation baby.

~START CHAPTER~

Zelo's POV

So far being in the same apartment as this person was not as bad as I first thought. Yongguk was actually really nice to me. He was always asking me if I was okay, and of course I lied and said yes. Sure I was okay, being in a new environment with a stranger I just met was perfectly okay. This was for Himchan, and I need to be okay.

"Hey kid, you want to go to the store with me?" He asked as he came into the living room where I was sitting playing with my new phone. He was straightening out the jacket and running his fingers through that light brown spiked hair of his.

Smiling a wide smile I stood up, "Yeah sure."

Be friendly.

"Okay well let's get going, I need to get things for dinner." He gave me a thin smile and I felt my heart ache. The feeling was indescribable, all I knew was that it was familiar but did I like it?

I fallowed him out of the apartment and then to the elevator after he locked the door. I felt a little inclined to start a conversation, but I couldn't think of anything to say to him. Was it okay to ask personal questions? Or should I just stay quiet until he starts a conversation? Maybe he doesn't like talking. I shook my head, my blond locks moving along my forehead, I need to stop over analyzing everything.

"So…what do you like to do for fun?" He asked as we got out of the elevator. I stayed by his side as I fallowed him to the parking garage. I smiled, I was glad he started the conversation…but what did I do for fun?

"Um…I like to rap, and sing…Oh and of course video games!' I gave him a huge smile and he returned it with a smirk. "You rap? I would like to hear it sometime."

I felt my cheeks heat up, "Haha I'm not that good though." I sheepishly scratched the back of my head and we came up to a slick looking black car.

"Still I would like to hear you." He gave me a gummy smile and then we got in the car. My cheeks were so red, and my heart was beating so fast I had to take hold of my shirt over it so that it doesn't jump out of my rib cage.

This man was making me feel things that I have never experience before. I felt like I couldn't stop myself from blushing. After we both buckled he began to pull out and drove. I found myself looking at him. He was handsome in a way I couldn't describe. I've seen some pretty good looking guys, model pretty, but Yongguk was not model pretty. His tan skin looked smooth like my own, but at the same time I feel as though if I touched it, it would be rough. His mocha brown eyes were thin and carried a lot of weight to them, like he has a closet full of bodies, some that have long since rotted of flesh and those in the early stages of decay.

Doesn't everybody?

He had a strong jaw line, and a thin nose that came to plump dark lips. I subconsciously licked my own, and realizing what I've done I face forward and look at the passing scenery, Zelo you can't just look at people. It's rude to stare.

Still I could not keep my eyes from looking him over, this time I found myself looking at his hands. One rested on the stirring wheel while the other rested on his lap. I smiled at the fact that he tried to be a cool driver, with only using one hand.

"What are you smiling at?" He asked glancing over at me with a thin smile of his own. My cheeks flushed, should I just tell him?

"You." I said bluntly, I have to be a different person, so why not be blunt.

He gave me a quizzical look, raising one eyebrow, than turned his attention back to the road, "What about me?" He asked, his deep voice sending a wave of something unknown up my spine. He really did have a nice voice.

"You look cool driving with one hand and leaning back in your seat." I closed my eyes and gave him a cute smile.  
>[AN: Just like a cholo XD] (Sorry for those who don't know what that is I just had to put it in there*)

Yongguk's POV

A small heat found its way to my cheeks as Zelo smiled at me. I pushed my body up so that I wasn't leaning in the chair anymore. Moving my hand that was on my leg to the stirring wheel to join the other I tried to look normal well driving.

"Aww, why'd you do that?" He asked looking at me with puppy eyes. I swallowed a lump in my throat; it was just too cute to see him do that.

"Cuz' you were making fun of me." I stated tearing my eyes from his cuteness so that we don't get in an accident.

"No I wasn't…I said you looked cool silly." His voice was soft and full of joy. I eased up my body back to its previous position. Why was this kid making my heart ache?

"See now you look awesome!" He exclaimed. I smiled at him, too too cute.

"We're here." I stated as I pulled into the parking lot and turned into the first open space that was a little ways from the entrance, but I didn't mind the walk. The weather was nice considering it was only the beginning of fall. Turning off the car I got out and little(Well he's not really little) Zelo got out as well. Locking the car he joined me at my side and we walked into the store.

"So what do you want for dinner?" I asked him looking over at him as his eyes seemed to pop from their sockets, hasn't this kid ever been in a grocery store? He looked over at me with an unsure look, like the words he wanted to say were stuck in his throat.

"Um…I get to choose?" He asked trying to make sure he heard me correctly. I smiled and nodded my head.

"Yeah, anything you want." He fidgeted with the hem of his jacket and bit those plump lips of his.

"Um, um how bout Kimchi?" His voice was meek and soft.

I nodded my head and took a basket from the pile near the front door and began to walk, "Kimchi it is, and how bout for breakfast I make you some eggs and potatoes." I stated more then asked. He smiled at me once more and nodded his head, "Okay." I like it when this kid smiles it makes me feel bubbly inside.

The silence between us as we walked through the store was comforting, I felt as though I didn't have to say anything to the kid and he didn't have to say anything to me and we were comfortable. Sure I would love to get to know him and figure out what that pain in those soft brown ords of his means. I've never seen anyone with such sad eyes.

"Hey Zelo, is that you?" My head turned to see a guy walking toward us. He had short cropped hair and an ugly mug. I looked towards Zelo whose face drained of all color as if he was looking into the eyes of a ghost. I found myself feeling anger wash over me. Who does this guy think he is, scaring this poor kid?

Zelo stuttered around to find some words to say, but couldn't muster up the sound to talk.

"I knew it was you, wow look at you, you have grown." The guy took hold of Zelo's shoulders and looked the kid up and down with a hunger in his beady eyes. I couldn't stand the sight before me. A sick man undressing Zelo with his eyes, and a scared looking kid. Reaching out I took hold of the man's wrist and forcefully pushed him from the younger.

"I don't know who the fuck you are, but you better leave him alone." I said in a harsh tone, hoping the guy got the picture and I didn't have to knock his teeth in.

"And who the fuck are you, I know him." The man spat with hate. Just as I was about to say something back Zelo interjected, "It-It's okay Yongguk."

His voice was small and I could still hear some hurt in his words. "I know him, he's just an old friend." I could tell he was forcing the smile he wore on his lips for it wasn't like the others. This one wasn't soft, this one hurt.

I wanted to say something, to tell him he didn't have to talk to this guy and that I'll kick his ass if he wants me too, but none the less I did what he said and didn't beat the guy up.

"Ass, told you I knew him." The guy said and it took all my strength to not punch him then and there.

"Geez Zelo, I can't believe you've filled out this much, give me a call sometime and we can do it like old times." The guy gave Zelo a card with numbers written on them. I scoffed, he just had to already have a card, probably from some girl who turned it down. And what does he mean by do it like old times?

Zelo took it with a shaky hand and stuffed it in his pocket. His body was stiff except for his hands that wouldn't stop shaking. What was this guy doing to Zelo?

"And tell your new boy toy to calm his shit." The man hugged Zelo and then began to walk away. Boy toy? Who the fuck is he calling a boy toy? I turned to Zelo and wanted to ask him what all that was about, but as soon as my eyes met his I stopped all thought. He looked scared. His eyes began to water; there was definitely something wrong here. What did Himchan get me into?

Zelo's POV

My head was throbbing and my throat dry. Why? Why? Why? I wanted to take hold of my hair and fall into a small ball, just so that I can close off the world, but Yongguk's voice brought me back, "Are you okay?" He asked and as his hand touched my shoulder I tensed. He quickly retracted his hand and looked at me with concern. I didn't mean to cringe at his touch, he was only worried. But now was not the time to wallow in my own despair. I'm with Yongguk, I need to be stronger than this. Inhaling a deep breath I save this mental break down for later. Forcing a smile I nodded my head, "Yeah, just surprised to see him is all."

I don't know if he bought what I said, but at least he dropped the subject.

"Okay…let's just get this over with." He walked in front of me and my eyes met his hands. They were balled into fists. His knuckles were turning white. My heart skipped a beat, and I was trying to wrap my thoughts around the idea of him being pissed at that guy like I was.

I hate that guy, and all the others as well.

We were now in the car on our way home. The whole time in the store I didn't say a word to him and he didn't say anything to me. I felt awkward and hurt. I didn't mean for that to happen. I should have told that guy to get away from me, or at least try and hide my face from him so that he didn't recognize me. I was just scared. I didn't want him to bring up my past with Yongguk right there. He can't know. The only one who knows is Himchan and I would like to keep it that way.

Still I felt sad and bad that Yongguk is in a bad mood now because of me. I looked over at him and said, "I'm sorry." My voice was small but since no music was playing I knew he heard me.

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, "For what?" He asked

"I didn't know he would say things like that…" I bowed my head so that I could look at my hands that rested in my lap.

Suddenly my faced turned a scarlet red as Yongguk reached over and took my hand in his. I was right with my earlier thought, his skin was rough, but in a nice way. I wanted to pull my hand out of his, just for the sake of my racing heart that seemed like it was going to burn out from embarrassment, But the grip he had on my hand was strong.

"I admit that, that guy got me pissed and he said a lot of thing I want to ask you about. But I'm sure you will tell me when you're ready. I don't want to push you Zelo, but please if anybody makes you look like you want to cry, tell me and I promise you I will hurt that person. I want you to know I will get rid of any guy that makes you cry."

His words pierced my heart like a dagger. What was I supposed to say to him? I was on the verge of tears. I felt like there was something in my throat and I just wanted to disappear. Yongguk doesn't know what he's talking about. I can only think of one reason why he is saying these things and why he is holding my hand…he just wants me for the same reason that other guy wanted me for.

I wish Himchan was here, so far he is the only one I feel comfortable around.

When we got into the apartment Yongguk took the bag I was caring and walked into the kitchen. "Well I'm going to start dinner okay?" He looked at me and the seriousness from earlier was gone. He seemed more calm, which means I need to be calm. I smiled at him, "Um, can I go take a shower?" I asked.

He gave me a confused look, "Yeah, you don't have to ask you know, you live here too." He gave me a thin smile and I nodded my head taking off to the bathroom.

Closing the door I stripped of my clothes and quickly turned on the water, the tears in my eyes building to the point my vision was blurring. Hopping under the water I finally let them flow. The sound of the rushing water will mask the sad sobs of my crying. My fingers tangled themselves in my wet hair and I fell to my knees. The tears would not stop and my chest where my heart was, was hurting. I was confused and in pain. Why did life have to be so difficult?

I tried to keep the noise down so that Yongguk could not hear me but at the same time I felt too far gone. Suicide wrapped its self around my thoughts and I was so tempted to rummage through his sink cabinets for a knife, just so I can slit these wrists and end this torcher I feel.

Yongguk's POV

My thoughts were racing on trying to figure out what that guy meant by boy toy, and that him and Zelo could do it like old times? Did those two use to be an item? If so I don't see why Zelo would be sacred, unless the guy was an abuser? I looked down at my hand that was holding the kitchen knife to see that my knuckles were burning white. Loosening my grip I sat the knife down and ran my fingers through my hair letting out a breath of air.

"Fuck." What was wrong with me? I hardly know the kid and I'm already getting pissed at the fact he had old flings with other guys. I'M NOT GAY! So why the fuck do I care?

Himchan is so going to pay for this.

My head perked up as I heard the doorbell ring. Pushing myself from the counter I was leaning against I walk to the door. My eyes widened as I saw Kakao, my girlfriend standing there with a huge grin.

Not the person I want to see as my brain thinks of another.

~CHAPTER END~

A/N: so what do you think? I'm really happy that I have a lot of people already reading this and subscribing, thank you. This one is a little longer then the first one and I hope you all enjoyed it, I'm trying my hardest to hurry and get to Yongguk and Zelo kissing, but I want to get Zelo's past out there first. Bear with me peeps XD


	3. This Silence Taunts Me

**Chapter Three: This Silence Taunts Me**

Yongguk's POV

"He-Hey Baby…" I said as my girlfriend just pushed her way into my apartment. Her slender arms wrapped themselves around my neck and her thin frame pushed it's self against me, and I wrapped my arms around her waist. Her huge boobs pressed against my chest. I love when she does this.

"I missed you soooo much I just had to come and see you." She was shorter than me so she had to get on her tippy toes to give me a small peck on the lips. I thought that was really cute, but somewhere in the back of my mind I wished she was a little taller…like Zelo. I froze in my thoughts and actions. Was I just thinking that I want my girlfriend to be like Zelo?

"Baby? Are you okay?" Shaking my head slightly to clear my thoughts I looked down at her and smiled.

"I'm fine, so are you going to stay for dinner?" I asked kind of hoping she said no…I didn't want her to see Zelo, I wanted to spend some alone time with him to get to know him, and if she's here she might not let me, being the jealous type and all.

"Of course! I love your cooking." She wiggled out of my grasp and proceeded to the living room where she tossed her purse on the couch, plopping down next to it. Sighing to myself I closed the door and fallowed after her. Why couldn't she say no?

"So hun, what's for dinner?" She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back, she too had a nice smile, but not as nice as Zelo's…Fuck! Stop it Yongguk, stop thinking of that damned kid.

Suddenly a smirk found its way to my lips and I moved closer to my girl who was sitting on the couch. My hands found their way in her hair, tangling themselves between the strands. Kakao closed her eyes and leaned into my touch.

"I have an idea, how bout we skip straight to dissert?" I asked bringing my mouth to her ear where I nipped lightly at the lobe, Well my grip on her hair tightened gaining a low moan form her.

"Hmm, anything for you, but first," My head shot up as she placed her hands on my shoulders pushing me back so that she could stand, "I have to go freshen up."

I groaned and she just flashed me a smile making her way down the hall to the bathroom. My eyes never leaving that ass of hers, then it hit me! Shit, Zelo is still in there. I sprinted towards her but it was too late. She screamed and when I came to the door I saw her face a deep red and her hand covering her eyes, somewhat. Through a crack in her pointer and middle finger I could tell she was checking him out.

"Hey are you okay?" I asked taking hold of Kakao's shoulders and moving her from the door. I turned to see Zelo standing there with just a towel wrapped around that thin waist of his. I subconsciously licked my lips.

I couldn't help but stare at that nice body. He was not buff but you can tell his body was toned. His creamy skin was dripping with water. My eyes fallowed one droplet that started at that delicious neck and slid its way down his chest pass his nice nipples and straight to his lower regions that were covered by the white towel. Then my eyes snapped to Kakao as she pushed my hands from her shoulder. When my eyes met hers she looked pissed.

"Yongguk why is there a naked boy it your bathroom!?" She screamed pointing a finger at the blushing boy. I stuttered to find some words to say that wont sound bad in anyway.

"Are you cheating on me with a boy? You're gay aren't you!? I knew it was too good to be true." Tears began to fill her eyes and I felt kind of bad that I was checking Zelo out…but then again so was she.

"No that's not it Kakao…this is Himchan's cousin," I placed my hands on her shoulders trying to get her to look at me. She had covered her eyes and refused to look at me.

"Don't lie!" I felt kind of hurt that she didn't believe me right away.

Just as I was about to say something else Zelo interrupted, "It's true ma'am, Himchan is my cuz' I'm staying with Yongguk tell he gets back from a business trip." My eyes flashed towards Zelo who still had only a towel on, and then back to Kakao who had lowered her hands and wore a thin smile.

"Oh okay then!" I felt anger well up in me. What the hell she'll listen to Zelo, who she just met and thought I was cheating on her with, instead of her own boyfriend!?

"Well since you're not cheating on me you still have a chance to be lucky tonight." After she poked my nose with her finger she looked at Zelo, and I swore I could see some kind of hunger in her eyes.

"So kid what's your name." She asked him

"I-I'm Zelo…um could um…" The kid was completely flustered, and who could blame him all he was wearing was that cursed towel, wouldn't it be better if he wasn't wearing anything?

Stop it, stop it, stop it…fuck stupid kid, "Kakao let him go throw on clothes." I said pulling my girl from the door and down the hall. I need to get away from this kid before I am tempted to just take him then and there.

No damn it that would be wrong! Not when you have a wonderful girlfriend ready to please you at any moment. You can't be and ass and just toss her to the side after meeting this kid! I mean you only known him for less than a day, and you already don't want to keep it in your pants! You're not gay damn it!

Zelo's POV

I could tell my face was still flushed, my skin felt hot and I was really embarrassed. I figured out half way through that, that woman was Yongguk's girlfriend and I kind of felt an annoyance bubble in my heart. I didn't like the way she was looking at me and treating Yongguk. There is something about her that reminds me of all those people that I have served before this, and just looking at her and having her look at me makes me feel icky.

I thought I would feel better after that shower, but it didn't work I still felt horrible and seeing that women didn't help. When those two left the bathroom I rushed to throw on some clothes. My bags were in Yongguk's room so I just decided to get changed in there.

Once in the room I closed the door but didn't lock it seeing as it's not going to take me that long to change and what's the chance of them walking in on me again?

Walking over to my duffle bag I dropped the towel around my waist and bent over to rummage through the bag for some sweats and a shirt. As my fingers ran over some of the clothes I began to wonder why I even took off that towel, the air in the room was cold causing goose bumps to run along my skin. My thoughts though were somewhere else; I was too focused on the fact that Yongguk saw me practically naked. I've never been one to feel shy about my body but having him stare at me like that made me feel really shy and squeamish, like his eyes were piercing through my soul. It made me feel like he can see through any emotion I am trying to hide. A smile formed on my lips, I know I shouldn't be saying this since I hardly know the guy, but Yongguk makes me feel safe and I think I can grow to L-…  
>My eyes snapped to the door when it opened.<p>

In walked Yongguk, and as soon as his eyes landed on my exposed, ahem…ass his cheeks flared a brilliant red and mines fallowed suit. I bent down and quickly grabbed the towel; standing up straight I held it in front of me so that I didn't expose myself even more to him.

"Uh…um…so-sorry." He stuttered out as he quickly bowed his head and closed the door. My face was flushed and I felt the need to go craw in a hole and die of embarrassment. I can't believe he just walked in…well it is his room, but still! Omo I'm soooo red right now.

Dinner was awkward between me and Yongguk and both our faces remained a shade of pink. His girlfriend who I came to know as Kwan Kakao, kept glancing between me and her boyfriend with a quizzical look, but by the atmosphere she knew not to ask and I'm glad. We all ate in silence, until she spoke, "Hey hun, do you think I can spend the night?"

Yongguk glanced over and I could tell he was a little torn between saying yes or no, I hoped he said no.

"Um…sorry babe but not tonight, the kid just moved in and I think it would be more comfortable for him if you weren't here on his first night." A thin smile came to my lips and I lowered my head so that they didn't see it.

She pouted but that quickly changed to a smile, "Okay, fine just for tonight though." She leaned into her boyfriend and planted a kiss on his cheek which made him smile. A pain struck my heart. I didnt like how close they were, but there was a voice in the back of my head telling me I have to right to be jealous of what they share, I have no right to wish for that kind of relationship…I'm only good for one thing, sex.

As if someone has stolen the air from around me, I grasp for my lungs to be filled and for this scene before me to end. Kakao wrapped her arms around Yongguk's neck and nuzzled into the crook of his skin planting kisses. My throat began to tighten and tears stung the back of my eyes threatening to fall. Reaching for my glass of water I hurried and chugged it, hoping that this would clear up my throat and stop the tears from coming, and it somewhat did.

That's right Z, don't cry, you can't cry. If you do then you are weak; you must just accept the fact that you can't have love, you can't have someone wrap their arms around you and plant soft, soft, soft kisses on your skin. I nodded my head subconsciously, I must accept this.

"Well then I guess I should get going, it's already late." Kakao said as she began to stand up. Yongguk fallowed suit and placed a arm around her waist.

"Let me walk you to the door."

"Okay and it was nice meeting you Zelo." She said waving to me which I returned with a weak wave of my own hand.

"I'll be right back okay Z." Yongguk said looking at me with a bored expression, I wonder why?

"Okay."

After he walked her down to her car I stood and made my way to the couch, sitting down I found my head to be really heavy. As if there was too much weight to one side I fell over. As soon as my head hit the cushion of the couch I pulled my legs up and turned around so that my back would be facing anyone who walked by. I didn't want to do anything; my limbs were limp and my mind numb. I couldn't form a rational thought and I didn't even want to try. I closed my eyes and drew in a shaky breathe, this pain I feel hurts unlike anything I have ever felt before. It was in my heart, like it was being twisted into and abstract shape just for the amusement of others.

Soon I just couldn't do it anymore and I drifted to sleep, I didn't even hear Yongguk come back in…

Yongguk's POV

"Okay hun bye." I said kissing her one last time on the lips. After she said her own good bye she sped off down the street. Letting out a sigh of relief that she had finally left I went back up to the apartment, all too ready to ask Zelo some questions, hoping that he would open up to me.

When I opened the door I saw Zelo lying on the couch. "Hey Z?" I called out to see if he was still awake, but when he didn't answer I couldn't help the small smile that tugged at my lips. The poor thing was just too tired to even eat the dessert I made. Walking to the hall closet I grabbed a blanket. When I came up to him I draped the blanket on his thin body, and I couldn't help but just look at him for a few minutes. It would be extremely awkward if he woke up. As I stared at those plump red lips and his messy blind hair that fell over the porcelain skin my thoughts went back to the bed room. With him bent over that bag, his ass facing me. I wanted to go up behind him and take ahold of that round waist pulling his ass into my hardening member. He would let out a low moan and look back with a cute blush across his face, which would make me harder. His small voice would be begging me to conti-

STOP! Damn it Yongguk, stop it now. But it was already too late I looked down to see that I was already hard, as I had a tint in my jeans.

Shit.

Zelo's POV

_"So his name is Junhong?" The man asked as he looked at me with a hunger in those small beady eyes of his. This man was not that tall, but anybody is taller than a 14 year old, right? I was scared as he stripped of his jacket._

_"Yeah, to go all the way will cost you 50 dollars (A/N: Sorry using American currency cuz its easier for me)." My father said looking at me and then back to the man._

_"Hmm, not bad, okay." The man reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, taking a 50 out he handed it to my father who in turn handed it to my mother._

_"All right he's all yours, you have an hour." I wanted to asked them why, why they were leaving me all alone with this man, and what the money was for, but it was too late they walked up the stairs. As soon as I heard the door closed my eyes snapped to the man that had removed his pants and underwear. I was scared and backed up tell I hit the cold concert wall of the basement. My fingers dug into the white sheets on the mattress and I couldn't tear my eyes away from him._

_"Come here boy." He said as he reached out and took hold of my ankle. I let out a yelp when he pulled me too him, my head hitting the wall. I was in pain as he began to pull at my shorts. My hands moved to his own, trying to push them away from me, but it was no use. He was way too strong for me._

_" …be a whole. Lot. Easier if you just do what I say!" He yelled hitting the side of my head. I could hear a ringing in my ears and my vision began to blur from the tears and spots of white and black. My arms fell to the side of me, I had no strength to continue to fight this man._

_ A cold breeze hit my skin when he finally removed my clothes. He tossed them to the floor and his hands came back to my skin. His touched was rough, and my sobs didn't soften them at all. This man didn't care that I was a 14 year old virgin. I let out a shallow and ragged cry when I felt a finger enter me. It hurt and when he added the next two it was no better. He lifted my shirt so that my chest was exposed. He ran his open palm across my skin and stopped when he came to a nipple. His tongue darted out and he took my nipple in his mouth. My head was thrown back and I closed my eyes trying to be somewhere, anywhere but here. When he removed his fingers there was nothing in the world that could prepare me for the pain I would feel next._

_ He thrusted his hips forward, entering me. My voice cracked and I thought I had shattered my voice box. A horrible pain ran up my spin and lower back. The tears never once stopping, my knuckled were white and my fingers hurt from gripping the sheets to hard. A warm liquid slid down my skin, and the man just didn't stop. When he was done he came inside me and walked over to his clothes where he quickly got dressed and then he turned to me, "You're a nice fuck kid, I'll see you next week." With that I was shattered. My body hurt and I felt as though I was in hell, the hell my parents built for me._

_ I didn't want to move, I stayed on that bed for what seemed like hours. I no longer had tears flowing from my eyes. I just continued to stare at the opposite wall. Nothing crossed my mind, all thoughts had ceased and I just continued to stare…_

My eyes opened and I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. Reaching a hand up I wiped them away. The room was dark and the only light came from the moon's ray that came in through the window. Blinking the remaining tears I pushed my body up so that I was sitting. The blanket fell to my waist. My mind was blank at the nightmare I just had, but by the tears I shed I knew I was feeling something. My heart was hurting again.

Not being away of my own actions I stood up from the couch and walked down the hall way to Yongguk's bed room. Not even bothering to knock I opened the door. There was still a lamp on letting a soft mellow glow light the room. My light brown eyes came to the bed and I saw Yongguk there completely naked pumping his hard cock.

"So this is what you do when you're by yourself." The other person in my psyche said. I hate this side me me. After the first few times my brain could no longer handle the stress, and this is my outlet, my savior.

Yongguk shot up from the bed and looked at me with a shocked expression. His cheeks turned bright red and his mouth hung open.

"Ze-Zelo what are you doing in here!?" He asked grabbing a pillow and covering his hard member. A sly smirk formed on my face, "I'm here to help you."

I made my way to the bed and crawled on all floors to him. "You-you need to leave Zelo." He said as he scooted farther back, stopping when he hit the head bored.

"No I don't" I rached for the pillow, but he swatted my hand away. I pouted and looked up at him with the best puppy eyes I could muster. "Come on you know you want me to."

"No, no I don't!" Yongguk pushed me aside and got out of the bed; quickly throwing on clothes he walked to the door. "You can sleep in here okay." Before I had the chance to say anything back he slipped out of the room, I sat there with a sad expression.

Why did I have to do that? Why does this have to happen to me?

~CHAPTER END~

A/N: *on the verge of tears* I hope everyone liked this chapter, it broke my heart to write, Poor little Zelo. And Good job Yongguk, turning down the kid J me proud of you. Oh and sorry for all the misspellings and grammer errors.

So in case this was confusing, to cope with the pain (Mentally and physically) of being abused he created an alternate personality, that happened to be a complete flirt. Tell me what you think? I will go into more detail when I have Himchan explain it.

Special thanks to all of those people who commented and read my story . makes me soooooo happy.


	4. Keep It A Secret

A/N: So I'm glad to be back…I kind of went through a depression the past week or so because of the death of all my stories, but I FINALLY managed to get my motivation back (From watching too many Kpop vids) and so here is the Fourth Chapter!

Oh also I made a mistake in the last chapter, Zelo doesn't know about the alternate personality. He just thinks he blacks out (Well technically he does) so he DOES NOT know.

Thanks to all of those who have read and subscribed to my story it means a lot. For the week I've been down I would just got to this story and see all the people who have subscribed and read it and I felt sooooo happy, Thank you!

**Chapter Four: Keep It A Secret**

Zelo's POV

My head was throbbing and it felt impossible to open my eyes. My brow was knitted in pain and I brought my hand up to gently rub at my temple. I could tell the sun was up as it showed though my closed eyes, but I wasn't ready to be completely blinded.

My brain was working on over drive; I didn't feel like I was in Yongguk's living room. I was lying on my back and my free hand, that wasn't rubbing at my head, fisted it's self in the soft fabric below me. It wasn't a couch I was on. I let out a small groan; I had to open my eyes.

My hand shielded my eyes from the bright rays that poured into the room I was laying in. The first thing I saw was a plain white ceiling; when I looked over I saw a wide flat screen and underneath it was a cherry wood dresser. Dresser? Then looking down at my hands and to the position I was in I realized I was on a bed.

My breath quickened and my heart beat rapidly. I had no clue where I was and there were too many scenarios running through my head. I was back; I was back in the only business I knew. This was some person's apartment or house and this pain in my head was because they were too rough last night, but wait…I don't feel any pain down there.

I was so confused; I wished that whoever bought me for the night would come in here and clarify everything for me. Tears began to well in the corner of my eyes and I let out a low groan of pain, mainly because my head. I felt as though my world was crumbling around me and soon I will join the pile of rubble. My hands found their way to my forehead where they grabbed at the strands of hair, pulling it with a force so that I could find my way back to Earth, but it wasn't working. The tears came and the reality I created in my mind was going nowhere.

Yongguk where are you!?

My eyes opened, what did I just think? That's right! I'm not in that cage anymore, Yongguk, Himchan, they saved me…they saved me.

As my mind ran a million miles a second the tears came to a stop but I couldn't find it in myself to take my hands away from my head. My eyes were glued open and I stared at the ceiling. I didn't want to move. If I moved what would happen? That scary thing called reality?

"Zelo? Zelo are you okay?"

This voice like a…god's, pulled me from the trance my mind put me under and I blinked a few times. When I finally looked towards the bedroom door I saw Yongguk standing there with a worried expression. He wore no shirt, and only a pair of black sweats that clung loosely to his waist. I could feel my cheeks heat up. He looked so hot!

Quickly I averted my gaze and stared at the window, "I'm- I'm fine." I said with a shaky voice. He continued to stand there and I could feel his gaze on me.

"How did I get here?" I asked before he could say anything else.

I now looked back at him with a curious expression, his whole body tensed and his gaze immediately moved to the floor.

"Um…well funny story, you see…" His words seemed to be caught in his throat and he shifted all his weight to one foot. Something happened last night and I don't remember…fuck!

I guess what ever happened- and I have a pretty good idea what- last night was the reason why I am in Yongguk's room right now.

"Wha-what happened?" I asked again and at the same time I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. When I black out I do things that I regret in the morning. I knew I probably did something that is causing Yongguk to be uncomfortable around me.

I wanted to know but at the same time I didn't.

"You came-came into the room last night and-"Before he could say anything more there was a knock at the door. Something in the back of my mind pushed me out of that bed, it pushed me passed the door and made me call out, " I got it, you can tell me later." I gave him a small smile and made my way to the door choking back tears.

Ignorance is bliss right?

I stopped in front of the door and unlocked the dead bolt. I still had a small smile on my lips, but that soon changed as I found myself looking at three strange men, all of who looked older than me. One hand of mine rested on the open door while the other was at my side and I looked at the men with a confused expression.

"Ca-can I help you?" I asked looking them over. There were two men in front and one behind them. The one to my right was still shorter than me but still was older. He had dark brown hair that was shaved on the sides, he had mocha brown eyes, well all of them did. Then the one on my left was as tall as the man to my right, he had light brown hair that hung around his head in a longer version of a bowl cut. Then the last one was about an inch shorter than the other two; this one had longer brown hair that covered the right side of his face, well the sides were shaved. (A/N: sorry I suck at describing hair, so to clarify first is Youngjae then Daehyun then Jongup)

"Aren't you a cutie." The one to my right said as he just pushed me to the side and walked in, the other two fallowed suit.

"Hyung got a new boy toy and didn't even tell us, this one is at least better looking than the last one." The one with the bowl like cut stopped in front of me, causing the man behind him to not be able to enter. My cheeks heated up to the shade of a tomato. The one in front of me held a finger to his chin in thought as I watched his eyes scan over me. It was uncomfortable and I wanted him to stop.

"Daehyun move it!" the man behind Daehyun yelled pushing the man out of the way.

"Yah! Jonguppie why can't you say please?" Daehyun rubbed his shoulder where Jongup pushed him.

As the one named Jongup walked in I couldn't help but stare, he looked so familiar, but I couldn't place it. My eyes went wide and I fallowed after the three boys.

"Yah! Who the French toast are you people, you can't barge into people's houses!?" I shouted at them as they now sat on the couch.

"Z, what's with all the y-"Yongguk walked into the room and stopped when he saw the three men on the couch. The guy, whose name I didn't know yet, jumped up from the couch and ran towards Yongguk.

"Yongguk-Hyung! I missed you!" I stood there in shock as the man hugged Yongguk and Yongguk hugged him back. Just who are these guys and what do they mean to Yongguk?

"Yoo Youngjae, it's been so long! How are you?" They released each other and started a small conversation amongst themselves, leaving me and possibly the others feeling left out.

"Yah, Hyung what about us!?" Daehyun called out standing from the couch, looking like he was on the verge of tears. The two talking men stopped their conversation and looked over at the bubbling Daehyun.

I felt so out of place, just who are these guys and why does Jongup look so familiar. I KNOW I've seen him somewhere, but where? I don't remember him ever having sex with me, so then where did I see him, does he remember me?  
>My head was spinning with all the places I've ever been and I feel it on the tip of my tongue that I know the place…think Zelo think, where!<p>

I felt my eyes become wider and my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. My legs felt weak, and I gained all of their attention as I dropped to the floor. My eyes never leaving Jongup's as he turned to look at me.

I remember where I've seen him…

' "_Look guys! What I found." The man who had bought me for that night pushed me into a medium sized room. There were 3 other men in the room all sitting around a table playing a card game. My stomach twisted into knots as my brain scrambled to think straight. _

_ Sure I knew what they were going to do, but if I could just get my mind to focus someplace else, then maybe, maybe it won't hut as much._

"_Wow, best one yet!" One man of medium build and a shaved head called out. _

"_Man this one's cute!" Another one of the same build but longer hair said. _

"_Where did you get this one? Did you tell the boss, don't you remember the last time we brought a prostitute here, he was pissed!?" The last man added, he was buffer then the others and his arms were covered in tattoos. _

_ The man that was holding on to me pushed me farther into the room and closed the door behind us. My body was shaking and it was hard to stay standing on my own feet. _

"_Come on man, can you not be a buzz kill for once! Let's just enjoy the night, besides the boss is away on a business trip tell Friday." _

_ My arm was starting to hurt where he was holding me and I knew I was going to have some bruises tomorrow. _

"_Yeah you meat head, just let lose for one night, I mean look at him, he just looks so delectable." The man with long hair stood and made his way to me. My body tensed as he slide a hand across my cheeks and down my neck._

"_Who goes first?" The man with the shaved head asked. I could see the hunger in all of their eyes. Swallowing a lump in my throat I closed my eyes and tried to choke back my tears. _

"_Me of course, I bought him!" The main guy said, "Only fair!"_

"_Fine but I go second!" The meat head called out. _

"_Then me." Said the shaved head man._

"_Then it's me." The long haired man sat in a chair. _

_ So far I've had two men inside me. My body was hurting and I lost my ability to cry out. I was on my knees on a bed with my upper body lying on the bare mattress. I was too tired to even fight back. _

"_Giving up already?" The one with long hair asked as he climbed in front of me taking hold of my chin. _

_ I found myself letting out a low growl as he stuffed his hard cock in my mouth; I wanted to puke, but instead it came out as squishy gagging noises. Tears found their way to my eyes again._

"_Man you are so fucking nice Junhong, I'm going to have to go and pay for another night." The long haired guy said_

_ Just as the man was about to come in my mouth the door flung open and a man stuck his head in, and that man was Jongup._

"_Yah! Finish up and get your lazy asses up stairs!" He yelled. His mellow eyes met mine and he immediately turned away, a bright blush on his cheeks. _

"_You want a turn captain?!" The meat head asked causing Jongup to turn ten shades redder. _

"_Na-no! Just hurry up!" With that the man left and I felt crushed. Couldn't he see that I was in pain? That I didn't want to be doing this? He just left and didn't even want to help me, now I'm stuck here to be used over and over again…_

It's him…it's the same man who didn't save me that night. I remember him and by the blush on his face as he looked at me I knew he remembered me. My gaze stayed connected with his, what am I going to do now? He knows my secret, he knows what I use to be.

"Z? Zelo, are you okay?" My body tensed as I was pulled out of my thoughts by Yongguk. His hand rested on my shoulder as he looked down at me. I pushed myself to my feet and flashed him a reassuring smile.

"Yeah I'm fine."

Not waiting for him to say anything I walked over to Jongup and took a hold of his hand and I dragged the man down the hall way, leaving behind a confused group of men.

"Yah! What are you doing!?" Jongup asked as I pushed him into Yongguk's room and closed the door behind us.

"You know who I am, don't you?" I asked. I couldn't stop the words from flowing past my lips. I didn't mean to drag him away, but we have to get things clear.

"Wha-what are you talking about?" He asked looking away from me. His cheeks flared a bright red and his movements became awkward. He was leaning against the wall behind the door and I moved forward so that I was standing in front of him.

"I need you to keep it a secret between the two of us." The tone in my voice wasn't mine, this wasn't me.  
>Jongup seemed to grow a back bone or something and turned to look at me, "Why would I do that? There's nothing in this for me." He said.<p>

I found myself smirking; closing the distance between us I placed my hand son his chest and slowly slid them down to the hem of his jeans.

"I'll make it worth your while."

CHAPTER END

A/N: T-T Finally done with this chapter. I finally got my motivation back, and my mind was flooded with all these great ideas I plan on writing. I hope you guys like this chapter so far, I wanted to end it with a cliff hanger, you will have to wait tell the next time to see if Jongup gives in to our little Zelo.

Oh and to clear things up the last part when Zelo is coming on to Jongup is his alternate personality. I didn't know how to write it so I'm sorry if it's confusing.

THANK YOU ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SUBSCRIBED AND READ MY STORY!

A/N: Thank you to all of those who have subscribed and read my story, especually those who are enjoying it. So I'm sorry i haven't updated in a while; I've just been too caught up in reading and trying to gain my motivation back, and i think i finally suceeded, so please enjoy this story!

So recap: Zelo's parents used to pimp him out to men so that they could fuel their addictions (Including: alcohol and drugs). He was 14 his first time, and ever since then and even now he feels like sex, and usign him , is all that people want. Then when he was 17 a man who was going to be a client found this to be wrong and anonomously informed the police, so he was then placed with his only living relative, Kim Himchan. Due to Himchan's job he cannot be with Zelo 24/7 and so the older man placed him in the care of his best friend, Bang Yongguk.

Yongguk wants to become closer to Zelo, and for some reason unknown to Zelo, he wants to open up to Yongguk, but he is scared to let anyone in. One night when he blacks out and his alturnate personality shows himself, Zelo unknowingly makes a move on Yongguk. Now the older man is completely confused, and he becomes even more lost when Zelo pulls Jongup into his bed room for some unkown reason.

Zelo remembers Jongup from when he was purchused for a night of 'fun' with a couple of gangsters, and now he is trying to get Jongup to keep his past a secret. We ended with Zelo bribing the young man...


	5. Tell MePlease

**~Fifth Chapter: Tell Me...Please~ **

Yongguk's POV

Me and Youngjae were still talking about old times, but i couldn't shake the thought of Zelo running off with Jonguppie. I mean why would he do that? I couldnt shake the feeling that something had happened between the two, and i wanted to know what. All these questions found their way through my mind like, where do they know eachother from? How do they know eachother? Why did Zelo just fall to the floor like that and just take ahold of Jongup and practically drag the man down the hall to my room?

"Hyung? Hyung?" I snapped out of my thoughts and found Youngjae looking at me with a worried expression.

"Yeah Hyung, you look out of it, everything okay?" I glanced over at Daehyun who asked the question.

I gave them both a soft smile and nodded my head, "Yeah, but um...I'm going to go check on the others." They all nodded their heads, and I could tell they were all curious about it as well.

Nodding my head, we all walked down the hall way to my bedroom. When we got to the door we could hear hushed voices coming from inside. I had decided not to knock since it was my room after all. Placing my hand on the knob I began to open it. When it was unlached i pushed the door open, my eyes widened when i saw...

~Zelo's POV before Yongguk and the other's go to the room~

"I'll make it worth your while." I found my self saying as I placed my hands on the hem of his jeans. This has to be the only way right? It's not like I have any money to give him.

Just as I was about to unbutton his jeans his hands stopped me, I looked up and our eyes met. I was suprised to find that his hazel orbs were watery. I knew he was on the verge of tears, but why?

I found my self frowning, I couldn't understand. I tried to wrap my head around why he would be on the verge of tears and why he wouldn't just let me buy his silence. I didnt want him to tell; I didnt want him to tell Yongguk. If Yongguk found out then...then, I don't even know what would happen. I'd feel lost, even more so then I already am. My heart ached at the mere thought of the older man finding out. He would hate me, and I care sooo much about what he thinks about me. I can't understand why this man I hardly know can have such an impact on my heart. I barly know him yet I feel like he can help me, like he can heal parts of me that I cannot fix on my own.

"Co-come on sit do-down." He said with a soft voice as he swallowed his tears. Jongup took hold of my wrists and pulled me to Yongguk's bed where we sat down with him to my right. He never once released my wrists as he made me look at him.

"Li-listen Zelo...I wont tell okay," He paused for a second and i found myself staring at him with a confused expression...Then what does he want from me? "But I want you to tell me what is going on...What happened the first time i saw you?"

His question shocked me; I really didn't know what to say and my heart began to beat rapidly. What made it even worse was he drew soft circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. It sent waves of electricity through my body and the butterflies began to flap around in my stomach. "There-there's nothing to talk about...you alre-already know." My cheeks flushed a bright pink and i looked at the ground in embarassment.

He shifted slightly and he looked at the floor with an uncomfortable gaze, "Ye-yeah i know, but- but why were you doing that i-if you didn't want too...i mean couldn't you say no?"

Say no? It never crossed my mind to say no to anyone. I mean the first time i said no i was just ignored. No one stopped and so...and so what's the point in saying no?. It wouldnt matter and i would just get a beating either way.

Jongup looked up at me with a sad expression as i didnt answer his question. What was i supposed to say, 'oh i didnt say no because i liked them raping me.' Tears welled in the corners of my eyes at my own terrible sarcasm.

"I-I was doing it...i was doing it because i had too." I setteled on saying this because it seemed less real. I wanted this conversation to end, but if i wanted him to keep it a secret then i had to tell him what happened.

"What do you mean you had to? Who was forcing you?" His voice found confidence in asking me these questions and it surprised me, but none the less i answered him after i averted my gaze to the floor as if the wood was the most interesting thing in the world.

I told him that my par-my owners forced me to do these things because they hated me. They made me have sex with all these old men for there own sick amusment, then i turned to him, this time i let the tears fall freely. "You know, acually i never understood why- why they made-made me do these things. They never told me, and i never asked..." Averting my gaze once more to look at my lap i sighed, cracking a hurt smile, "Whats even more pathetic is the fact that i never fought back...I never tried to escape, or get them to stop...Im-Im nothing but a whore." I whimpered and brought my free hand up to my cheeks to wipe away the tears. I felt horrible as realization hit me and all of these facts came into veiw.

Why didnt i fight back? Why did i hold in all of this pain? I felt horrible, my chest was tight and soon it became hard for me to breath. It was like the walls were closing in around me and there was no escape. The windows and door vanished...even Jongup dissapeared. I was alone in a vast darkness. I could feel a light squeeze on my hand, but it wasnt enough to pull me back to reality. I was lost. Then the black walls shattered liked glass. The pieces falling aorund me, but it wasnt the world i left that returned to me. I was back in that place, i was back in that basement, on the lumpy old mattress in the corner staring off into space. I was dead.

"Z-Zelo!" I shook my head slightly and looked over at Jongup, my gaze felt glossed over. None of this felt real. Sitting here right now with Jongup holding my hand did not feal real.

"Ar-Are you okay?" Before i could answer him the bedroom door opened and there stood the three other boys we left in the living room. Yongguk looked from Jongup to me and then down at our hands intertwined.

"Wh-what's going on? Is everything alright?" Yongguk asked with this confused look in his brown eyes. Him and the others moved into the bed room and even that felt like a dream. To me the way they moved seemed foggy and slow, but im sure to them it was pretty normal.

My head began to pound, and it was like there was a voice in the back of my mind,'Run! Run! You need to run JunHong!' The voice was getting louder, telling me i need to leave this room.

'These people are just going to hurt you, i'm the only one who can protect you. Remember that.' My hands moved to my head, Jongup looked at me in suprise when i ripped my hand from his. My fingers tangled into the strands. This throbbing would not stop, and so i yanked harder on my hair. The roots stung but i paid no mind to the slight pain.

'Leave,, come on get up and leave; I'll end your pain for you,'The voice kept taunting me, it was like his voice was becoming louder with each word. 'I'll end your pain, and then you'll be free.'

"Ze-Zelo...are you okay?" I could feel a hand on my shoulder and the touch was like fire, my body instinctively pulled away, "Zelo?" The man said again. I recognized the voice as Yongguk, but i felt too far gone to reply.

'This one Zelo...Is the worst.' The voice said refering to Yongguk, I didnt want to believe him but it was like my brain was working against my heart, 'This one's only going to hurt you...Dont you see Zelo im the only one you'll ever need..' And i believed it, i believed him.

Standing up i never removed my hands from my head, and i just shoved my body through the other boys. I didnt know where my feet were taking me, i just allowed the voice in my head to guide me to the right place. 'Thats right i got you Zelo, you will be out of pain soon.'

As i walked it all felt forigen. It was like i was in a new world. Nothing was real here. When my body turned into the bathroom and closed the door i didnt feel the wood on my hands, and i didnt hear the door close. My fingers were numb as i searched through Yongguk's cabinet. 'Grab the bottles. Take them all at once; I promise you it will end your pain.'

Listening obediantly i opened all of the pill bottels and one by one i swallowed as many as i could. 'That's it...good job.' Tossing the last bottle in the sink i slumpped to the floor. My eyes were feeling heavy and it was as if i could hear my heart beat slow down. Then a knock sounded through out the bathroom, and i was glad i locked the door...i think.

"Zelo! Zelo are you okay!?" The voice belonged to Yongguk.

"It's-It's okay Yongguk-Hyung!," I called back in a soft voice, i could feel my cheeks flush a bright pink as i realized that i called him Hyung, but that was beside the point.

"It everything okay in there, are you okay?" He asked again.

"It's okay...I'm just going to end my pain. He said i could finally end it." I couldnt even stop my self from talking, i wanted him to know, i wanted everyone to know that i was going to stop all my pain, "I won't be in pain any more, and those monsters cant hurt me anymore."

"Z-Zelo what are you talking about?" I could hear him jingle the door knob, trying to get in, "Let me in Zelo!" He called out.

My eyes had finally closed and i could no longer open them, "Thank you Hyung, for putting up with me...tha-" Before i could say more i felt my body go limp...this is it, im finally done in this world.

A smile formed on my lips...

Yongguk's POV

I could feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. Using my shoulder i began to pound on the door. Zelo's words scared me, and i needed to get into the bathroom.

"Hyung! What's going on?!" I turned to see Youngjae and the others come up to me.

"Ze-Zelo i htink he's hurting him self." I managed to say.

"Here stand back." Jongup said, his eyes also filling up with tears. The others wore worried expressions as they stood on the sidelines. I stepped back from the door and Jonggup kicked it in.

Rushing in before him i stopped when i saw Zelo on the floor. My mind and body froze. I couldnt believe what i was seeing. This wasnt real it just cant be real!

Next thing i know i was by his side, cradling him in my arms

"Hurry call an ambulance!"

~ChApTeR eNd~

A/N: So...wow, um yeah. THis chapter is really sad. I mean we have Zelo who had just tried to commit suicide. I apologize for all of those who are mad at me for doing this . but i had to for story development you know ^^

I also apologize for it taking me so long to get this chapter out. THank you to all of those who have been patiantly waiting, THANK YOU! I promise i will have some fluffyness in th enext chapter to make up for this okay.

And a thanks to my editor, the Great Mysterious Panda, aka my awesome twin.

Please dont forget to comment and enjoy. I will try and update by Sunday.

~THANKS~


	6. The Truth You Need To Know

**Chapter Six: The Truth You Need to Know**

A/N: So...wow I feel like a horrible person with that last chapter, sorry for anyone who didn't like reading that, but thanks for everyone who did read it. Omo I have a lot of views, more then I thought I would receive when I first published this, so thank you.

"Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your shadow leaves you when you're in darkness."

~Unknown

Himchan's POV

My mind was racing with thoughts of Zelo and I began to question why I even left him. I knew he was in pain, yet I still left for America!

"Come on hurry!" I yelled at my driver which he just nodded his head and sped up the pace. I wanted to hurry up and get to my JunHong, I need to see if he's okay and tell him I'm sorry for leaving him. Then I need to yell at Yongguk. What the hell was he thinking letting Zelo do this?!

My gaze wondered out the window as I clenched my hands into fists till the knuckles were a burning white. Scenarios of what Yongguk told me flashed in my mind, and I couldn't help but cringe at the images that found their way into my mind.

"Sir…We're here!" My driver called out as he pulled to the front doors of the hospital, not even waiting for him to come to a complete stop I jumped out of the car, almost falling.  
>Regaining my composure I ran straight inside and to the front desk with a petite lady sitting behind it. She glanced up at me and I could see a sparkle in her brown eyes but paying no mind and not giving her a chance to ask if she could help me I said, "Choi JunHong, What room?!"<p>

Seeing as I was in a hurry her fingers typed away and in less than a minute later she looked back up at me, "Room 113…Just go straight down this hall way and then turn right and it should be at the end of that hall way." She pointed to the corridor to my left and I nodded my head.

"Thanks."

After fallowing the ladies directions I came to Zelo's room and waiting outside was Youngjae and Daehyun who were talking between each other and both were wearing worried expressions.

"HimChan Hyung!" Daehyun called out noticing me. Youngjae also turned so that he could look at me.

"Where is he?" I asked referring to Zelo. Both the boys moved out of the way so that I could walk through the door.

Inside the room Zelo was laying on a bed with a breathing tube over his mouth and a few IV's in his arms. My heart sank seeing my little cousin in such a state. His eyes were closed and his chest rose with every breath he took. He looked terrible and every now and then you could see his eye brows furrow and I knew he must still be in pain. Tears formed in the corner of my eyes and I felt myself fall to my knees at his bed side. My hands moved to Zelo's where I tangled my fingers in his.

"Hi-HimChan?" My body tensed and I could feel anger bubble inside my heart as I heard Yongguk's voice.

Standing up I turned and gave the older man the meanest glare I could muster up with tears in my eyes. It is his fault that my little Zelo is in the hospital right now; all I asked of him was for him to take care of Zelo; how hard was that!?

Yongguk's body became tense as he realizes I was pissed. Dropping his hand from my shoulder he opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't give him the chance, "Why didn't you watch him Yongguk!? Why did you let this happen to him!? You're supposed to watch what you say, what caused him to do this!? …Did you-Did you hurt him" My voice grew low as I said the last words, I didn't want to believe that he would do anything to Zelo since he is my best friend and I would entrust my life to him, but anything is possible.

Yongguk's expression darkened and I could tell I made him angry.

"What are you talking about!? How was I suppose to know that the Kid would try and commit suicide, you-you didn't tell me jack squat about this kid, how was I suppose to know he would do this? Huh HimChan! And how dare you accuse me of doing this to the kid, I love him. He's special to you and now he's special to me to, I would never lay a hand on him!"

I felt my shoulders stiffen, He was correct I didn't tell him anything about Zelo. I didn't tell him that Zelo requires special care, that even saying one wrong word could push him off the edge. This was entirely my fault, I did this to Zelo. And here I was accusing my best friend of harming Zelo.

This time I couldn't help the tears from falling down my cheeks, but before I could fall to the ground Yongguk wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. My hands fisted themselves in his tee-shirt and I-I just continued to cry into his chest. Yongguk ran his hands across my back in soothing circles. This is why I love Yongguk; he is such a good friend.

"I-I'm sorry." I said between sobs.

"It's okay HimChan, I know you were just angry." He said his deep voice making me feel calmer, "But HimC-"

"HIMCHAN!" I broke away from Yongguk and we both glance at the door to see a worried JongUp standing in the door way, "Ar-are you okay?!" The younger asked walking further into the room. I left Yongguk's arms and allowed JongUp to pull me into a hug of his own.

"I-I'm fine babe." I said reassuring my lover by returning his hug.

JongUp released me but kept his hands on my thinner waist, "I was so worried, I heard you were coming and knowing you, you were going to speed race the whole way here." I let out a choked giggle, my throat dry from crying.

"Don't worry I'm okay." He leaned up and gave me a kiss on the forehead, which felt a little awkward considering we were practically the same height and the others were all in the room.

"Good."

I turned my body around in his grasp so that I could face Yongguk, "What did the doctors say?"

"They pumped his stomach and managed to get all of the pills he took out, he just needs to rest and they say he should be fine in a couple of days to a week. He's fine now but they want to keep him and monitor him…to make sure he won't harm himself again." I nodded my head at Yongguk's uneasy words. I knew Zelo was going to recover, the kid is tough and if he could survive being in 'that' house for 17 years then he can survive this.

It was around 10 o'clock at night when Yongguk pulled me out of the room to go get coffee from the lounge at the end of the hall way. Daehyun and Youngjae had went home and wanted to be informed if the kid wakes up, while JongUp slept in a chair outside of Zelo's room. I asked him why, telling him he could sleep in the room, but he just said it would make the kid more comfortable if he wakes up and doesn't see him. He shushed the rest of my questions with a kiss and refused to answer anymore, though I did not mind, the truth would eventually come out.

Like Now…

We, me and Yongguk, where the only ones in the small room that held a couple of couches, a coffee pot with all its essentials, a counter with other supplies such as blankets and etc. The older man motioned for me to be seated on the dull red couch well he fixed us two cups of coffee. I clapped my hands together and let out a breathe of air I didn't know I was holding. I was nervous, sure. I mean here I am about to tell my best friend the most deepest, darkest, and horrible secrets of my little cousin, who I had promised not to tell anyone.

But none the less, as soon as Yongguk sat next to me handing my cup he gave me a comforting and curious look egging me to tell him, "What happened to Zelo?" He asked.

Swallowing a small sip of coffee I glanced at him and then back to the wall in front of me, "I'm only going to tell you small portions of what happened, the rest you need to hear from Zelo." I started off and he gave me a baffled look.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because I promised Z that I wouldn't tell anyone how he feels, so I will only tell you what I know." Yongguk nodded his head and I continued to tell him the sad life of Choi Jun Hong,

It started when he was 14: (A/N: Okay so these _flash backs _are told in Zelo's POV)

"_Where's the fucking money!?" My mother yelled as she stormed into the living room, where I sat doing home work well my father downed his beer watching T.V. Like always she had, had quite a few drinks herself and both of them being drunk didn't help the situation._

"_What the fuck you talking bout'!?" My father spat back never once tearing his eyes form some show in front of him _

"_The money so we can pay Kang, you fucking idiot," My mother stepped more into the room and I could feel my body become tense, I knew what was coming and I was frozen in my spot on the floor to even run up the stairs, "The money we got from that man who fucked your kid." _

_I flinched at her words, even now the memory of being in that basement with that man I did not know hurt me and the way that the women who gave birth to me casually said that as if it was so normal. _

"_Oh right…I don't know." That seemed to make my mother angrier, and in that rage she walked over to me and ripped me from my spot on the ground. I let out a whimper as I felt like my arm was going to rip from the socket. _

"_Fine then, well just use you again boy." She said more to herself then me. The book I was reading fell to the ground and this 'women' continued to drag me down the hall way to the basement door. Flinging it opened she practically pushed me in and I was thankful for the hand rail._

"_Be ready boy!" And then she slammed the door closed._

I glanced over to see Yongguk look at me with a deep glare, like he was taking in all of this information and converting it to anger. "They, my aunt and uncle, looked him in that basement tell their drug dealer came and offered Zelo's body as payment, "

I continued…

_ I sat on the mattress in the corner of the basement with my knees to my chest and my arms wrapped snuggly around them. My head rested on my lap and my heart being to beat at a rapid speed. I was scared, I knew what was coming. It's going to be like that time with the man, this guy is going to come down here and hurt me and there is nothing I could do about it. _

_Suddenly the door opened at the top of the stairs and my body became tense, I kept my head down as to not see who was coming down, even though I already know who. _

_ My parent's drug dealer was a tall man with short slicked back hair and narrow onyx eyes. He had a medium build, bigger than me, with huge hands that were rough. His whole appearance screams, 'I've killed a man, don't fuck with me'._

"_So this is your boy?" He asked his voice monotone and deep._

"_Yeah, you can do with him what you will, that should pay back what we owe…right?" I heard my mother's voice and I could just feel the lust coming off the man. _

"_Yeah…now get lost."_

"The man raped him for a couple hours before he was finished. He had terrible cuts and bruises, yet they refused to take him to the hospital. Instead my cousin had to take care of himself, clean and bandage all cuts." Yongguk still remained silent, yet you could see the anger written on his face.

"This actually continued on for a couple years, when he was sixteen someone actually took notice of the bruises."

"_Choi JunHong to the principal's office! Choi JunHong to the principal's office!" Anxiety filled my body and my hands began to shake as my name was called over the inner com system, but I still managed to get to my feet and grab my book bag. _

_I tried to walk as slow as I could to the principal's office, but somehow I still got there too soon. Fear flooded my mind and I prayed to the heavens that they would not ask me about my parents or anything related. _

"_Come in my boy." The chubby old man, also known as Mr. Kwon, said motioning from me to enter, which I did. "Take a seat, this is Shin Yuhan a detective, and he's here to ask you a couple of questions, okay?"_

_ Swallowing a lump in my throat I nodded my head and shifted in the plastic chair, feeling highly uncomfortable._

"_So JunHong, can you tell me where you got those bruises on your neck?" He asked referring to the visible purple and yellowing marks on my neck that I couldn't hide. _

_I opened my mouth to speak and the words were caught in my throat. It took me a few seconds to collect my thought, "I-I gooot into a fi-fight." I said trying to not let my weakness show. _

"_Uh-huh and where did this fight happen and with who?" _

"_Just some neighborhood kids near my house." This time the words came out much easier, regardless I never made eye contact._

"_Did you notify the police?"  
><em>

"_No- no my mother took care of it."_

"_Hmm, well I also heard about other bruises on your body, is that true?" _

_My mouth became extremely dry and my heart felt as if it was going to jump through my rib cage and onto my lap, "Na-no."_

_The detective came around and bent down so that he was looking into my eyes, which I avoided._

"_Well here's my card, and I'm going to be visiting your house either tomorrow or the next day, okay?" I took the card from his hand with shaky fingers and nodded my head._

"_Ca-can I leave now?"_

"The detective went to Z's house, but my aunt and uncle straightened things up and hid any evidence of abuse. After the man left they beat Zelo to the brink of death and left him in his room for a few days with no food or water." I said placing my empty cup on the table and looked over to Yongguk. My eyes moved down to his and I could see them visibly shaking with anger.

"Why? Why would they do such a thing?!" He asked his voice filled with hate and confusion.

"They thought they were almost caught and that there cash cow was going to disappear."

Yongguk stood from his seat and threw his cup across the room. It hit the wall and loosely fell to the ground, it was a good thing the cup was plastic. It was like you could see the smoke coming from his ears. He was angry and a part of me wanted to know why he was so angered by this. Sure who wouldn't be upset and even sad to heart such words, but Yongguk, he was furious. Like Zelo was his family or even lover.

"Sit down let me finish Yongguk." I said in a calm voice, "About 3 weeks ago someone finally helped him…"

"_So how old is the boy?" My body froze as I heard an unknown man's voice from upstairs. I was currently in the basement working on some rhymes for a rap I wanted to do. Of course no one would hear it, but I still enjoy writing them and working on them in the confines of my mind. I knew the voice meant work to do and so I stuffed the composition notebook under the mattress and waited for the people to come down. _

_ I've grown so indifferent to these situations, and sometimes when it's happening it's like I black out and when I come to I'm sore and extremely tired. I don't even remember when that happens, but in the end I grateful that I don't._

_My mother escorted a man to my corner of the basement. He was a tall lanky business man. And by the look on his face I knew this was his first time doing something like this. _

"_Right, so you have an hour, have fun." With that my mother walked back up stairs. _

_ After I heard the door close he advanced toward me, dropping his briefcase on the floor and nervously unbuttoning his jacket. _

"_So…um-uh this is uh my first time…do you mind taking the lead?" I was surprised by what he asked, but regardless I have to do my job. _

_ As he came closer I could feel my head grow heavy and my vision became spotty. 'Oh no im going to pa-.' _

"_Alright big boy come here." Zelo said (A/N: When I'm referring to Zelo's alternate personality I will write the scenes in third person) as he climbed on all fours to the man who now stood awkwardly on the side of the bed. He still had on his close and he looked absolutely conflicted. _

"_You're only 17?" He asked more than sated and Zelo nodded his head. "Why are you doing this?" _

_Zelo frowned and looked up at the man, "If you're here for sex, let's get this over with." The younger boy was in no mood for clients to question his life and actions. It wasn't like he did this for kicks or to put money in his own pockets, nope! And for these reasons this stranger doesn't need to know. _

"_You're so young." His hand grazed across Zelo's cheek and his fingers wound themselves in his hair. "They force you don't they?"_

_Zelo could feel anger and shame well in his chest and his stomach dropped as he could feel the tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "Who the fuck do you think you are!?" _

_As soon as the words left his mouth, Zelo clamped his hands over his lips. He didn't mean to yell, but this man was getting on his nerves, with his conscious and sad feelings towards the situation._

_ The man pulled his hands away from Zelo and took a step back. He made no attempt to say anything and Zelo took that as an opportunity to say more, he did not care if he got a severe beating because of it. Venting like this makes him feel better. "I didn't ask to be here, I didn't ask to be raped EVERY single night! So don't stand there acting like you feel sorry for me. You are here like all the others to use me and then leave. YOU will just fuck me like a piece of trash and then go back to whatever family you have!" _

_ Zelo's chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath, the other man just looked down at the boy with a soft look. "I'm sorry…I'm just gonna go." _

_Zelo didn't even have a chance to protest; the man put his coat back on and took his briefcase. He left and all Zelo could do for the rest of the night was cry…_

"That very night the man went to the police and told them about Zelo, and within a couple hours the police were raiding their house. They found Zelo in the basement, still crying." Yongguk seemed to have calmed down and now sat back down next to me. He rested his chin in his hands as he stared straight at the wall. "I was called the very next day and rushed to get to him…It's been 4 years since the last time I saw him, and when I went to the station and he came out in oversized clothes because the station had none that would fit him, and he looked completely exhausted. I'm sure the cops kept him up late asking him all these embarrassing questions. It broke my heart to see him like that and the first thing I did was hug him."

Yongguk gave a small smile after I said that and he gave me a look telling me to continue. "After filling out some paper work, he was now under my guardianship. That night I took him home he didn't even want to eat. It was like he was a deer caught in the headlights. My heart ached and I just wanted to tell him that everything is okay, that he's going to be okay…but I couldn't" I could feel my throat go dry as I chocked on my words. Tears forming on the corner of my eyes as all of this hit me as well. And I know it's my fault that he was in this hospital right now.

Yongguk scooted closer to me and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder pulling me into his chest. "Nothing was okay…after all those years of being in that hell, he was not just going to recover over night, and here I am dropping him off at your house because I have work. When I knew that he was unstable."

"I was going to ask you about that." He finally spoke, the vibrations of his voice moving through my head, "When he was at my house the first night he came into my room and it was like he was a completely different person."

He didn't have to say anymore, I knew what he was talking about and I felt even worse knowing about Zelo's alternate self and not doing anything, "The person that went into your room was like an alternate personality of JunHong's. The doctors told me that after all the trauma he went through his psyche made a 'protector', someone who would come out when Z couldn't handle it emotionally and that 'person' would take charge and make sure nothing happens to Z. I'm guessing he had a bad dream, or viewed you like all the others and so he was going to do the only thing he knew how to do to protect Zelo."

Yongguk's body became tense as the information I just gave him sunk in, and I knew it was going to take some time for him to become accustomed to knowing all of this.

"HimChan…?"

"Hmm?" I hummed not wanting to move from this comfortable position as I still felt down and this human contact was helping.

"I don't know what to do…This kid I- I just feel like protecting him…is that so bad?" I smiled to myself, knowing that my little cousin has managed to make such a huge impact on Bang Yongguk, the man who use to be feared by many and who would have never been caught babysitting someone like Zelo.

"Don't worry Bang Yongguk, everything will fall into place."

He let out an audible sigh and I felt his chin fall onto my head, "If you say so Lieutenant Kim HimChan."

"Yah! Don't call me that, I'm not a lieutenant anymore, Leader Yongguk." I teased him back, knowing he didn't like being called leader just as much as I didn't like being called lieutenant.

"You suck." He said to me and I knew he was joking, all I did was laugh.

"Sometimes."

He made a gagging noise, "Didn't need to know that!"

"Sure, sure, you're such a prude." I laughed at his innocent act.

We sat in silence, my head still resting on his chest and his chin still on my head, "Thank you." I said breaking the silence.

"For what?"

"For taking such good care of Zelo to the best of your abilities." I truly was thankful for my best friend doing this for me.

"I enjoyed and hopefully the little guy gets better soon so I can enjoy his company even more…he still has to rap for me."

I giggled at him, of course he wants to hear Z rap. This guy lives for music.

"Still thanks."

Zelo's POV

"_I love you kid, so don't do this to me ever again! Do you hear me!?" I nodded my head, the tears stinging my eyes and Yongguk-Hyung pulled my body into his lap so that he could hug me. My cheeks were as bright as tomatoes and I couldn't help but squeeze his shirt as I rested my head on his lap._

_ I felt so happy, so full of warmth. It was like Yongguk's aura wrapped around me and kept me safe. I never wanted to leave his arms, the very arms that moved along my skin, the very hands that ran under my shirt and around my waist. His touch was soft and gentle, so full of care it was near impossible for me to not let out a low moan. _

_What he was doing felt so natural, like my past has no meaning. Like it doesn't even exist, I'm a normal teenage boy with a man who loves me, and who is making my body tingle with affection. I close my eyes, my head feeling dizzy and drunk off his actions. _

_We some how ended up on a bed, and my closed had disappeared as well as his. Our bodies became a tangled mess of heat and lust…well I hope it was love, it felt like love. His hands moved along my body well I called out his name. The words sounding so right when they rolled off my tongue. _

"_Zelo…JunHong, I love y-."_

My eyes snapped open and I came face to face with a dark ceiling. I was alive…I was still alive. Pain rushed through my body as well as sadness. I can't believe I survived. I wanted all of this to go away.

_Then why did you have that dream?_

My brow furrowed in confusion as the thought passed my mind. Why did I have that dream?

Before I could even question it anymore my head turned and I saw Yongguk-Hyung sleeping in a chair right next to my bed side. My heart began to race, causing the machine connected to me to beep even faster.

He's here, Yongguk is here. He is sitting next to me, which must mean he cares. My head turned to the other side and in the corner of the room I saw a smiling HimChan. My cheeks flushed at the idea of HimChan hearing the heart monitor going faster as I looked at Yongguk.

"I'm glad you're awake Zelo." He said, his voice sounding dry.

I reached up and moved the breathing tube from my mouth so that I could speak, "Hi-HimChan?" My voice sounded even worse than his, but I still managed to talk.

"Z…I told him." Guilt washed over the older man's face, and I could feel my stomach drop as his words sunk in.

He told Yongguk-Hyung, he told him what I use to be?! How could he, I trusted him, I trusted him with my secret, hoping that he would keep it to himself. See this is why I don't trust people. Tears formed in the corner of my eyes, and when they fell they left a wet trail down to my ears.

HimChan rushed to my side and took hold of my hand. I still had no strength left and couldn't push him away.

"Shhh-Shhh, it's okay, Shhh…" HimChan rubbed small circles into the back of my hand and I just couldn't help the tears from falling. My world feels like it's falling to pieces once again.

"It's okay Z…Yongguk can help you." I turned my head and gave him a confused look, what was he talking about? "I failed you, but Yongguk hasn't. You need to trust him and I promise, I PROMISE he will not do you wrong." The tears still flowed but not as heavy as before, and HimChan gave me a pleading look.

I opened my mouth to say something, but a voice intervened. "Ze-Zelo?"

Both me and HimChan looked over to see Yongguk looking at me, sleep still present in his eyes. My heart skipped a beat at the drowsy look he gave us. Just like a lost little puppy he looked confused and tired. "I-I'm so glad your awake."

I nodded my head, and the tears just stopped. Just hearing his voice had calmed my heart.

"Z…I have something's to ask you…When you're better of course."

All I could do was swallow the lump in my throat and nod my head.

~ChApTeR eNd~

A/N: *Sigh* I am so sorry that it took me so long to get this out, the past couple of weeks have been so busy, with me being sick, ACT's and a lot of college and high school finals coming up. Well at least I got it out (I finished this instead of math homework :P)

I hope everyone liked this chapter, I made it longer then my others, and packed a lot of info into it.

SOOOO now Yongguk know most of Zelo's past (I feel like a bad person TT^TT) What's he going to ask Zelo? And honestly I don't know. Haha

Well any way the next update isn't going to be for awhile (Maybe) since I have a lot to do the next fallowing weeks. Please bear with me.

THANK YOU TO EVERY ONE WHO HAS READ MY STORY AND WHO HAS ENJOYED IT!


	7. So This Is GoodBye

A/N: Man I had a lot of comments this time and it gave me the motivation to hurry and get this out XD

Chapter Seven: So This is Goodbye

Zelo's POV

The hospital room was silent as I was the only one in the room. It's been two days since Yongguk-Hyung told me he had some questions to ask me and in all honesty I was freaking out. I didn't want him to ask anything, couldn't he just stick with the information Himchan-Hyung gave him? There's no need for him to know any more. It's not like I'm going to be with him forever…right? Very soon I will be going home with Himchan—Hyung and then I will never see him again.

As that thought rushed through my head I felt my heart sway towards a painful ache. Tears welled in my eyes and I pulled the covers up over my head as the salt water drops slid down my cheeks. Confusion fed my thoughts and motivation to try and off myself again. I hated this wave of emotions that flooded through my body.

Do I want to stay with Yongguk-Hyung or not?

Do I want him to know my past or not?

Do I want to open up to him or not?

GAH! Stupid heart, make up your mind! I mentally scolded myself for being so stupid. I shouldn't be thinking so much about this. Its soooooo simple, either I want to stay or I don't, I need to stop thinking so much about it.

My body tensed as I heard a knock from the door, I stayed still not wanting to move, but I managed to tell the person to come in.

"Zelo~ it's me, your HimChan-Hyung! Are you ready to leave?" My face brightened and I flung the blanket from my body, turning so that I was looking at a smiling Himchan.

"I get to leave today?!" I asked sounding very excited. Hospitals…I don't like them.

"The doc said you are all clear now, so I'm going to take you to my house…okay?" The way that Himchan said those words made it seem like he wasn't asking if I was okay with it, rather he was stating that I'm going to his regardless if I want to or not.

My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach, and I felt really gloomy all of sudden, like it would be better for me to stay here in this hospital then go to Himchan's house.

I love my cousin, but somewhere in the back of my mind and heart I really, really, really want to go back to Yongguk's house. I know I wasn't there for long, and a lot has happened but at the end of the day it felt like the home I never had, and I miss that. Still regardless of how I felt, how confused I felt, I nodded my head and Himchan gave me a soft smile.

"Go ahead and get your things together, I'm going to go check you out." With that he left the room and I sat there staring at the opposite wall. All thought eluded me and It felt like my head was packed with concrete. I didn't want to think, and I didn't want to move.

"Oh good you're still here!"

I snapped out of my head when I heard a familiar voice coming from the door. It's been so long, okay 2 days, since I seen Yongguk-Hyung that I was starting to miss him. After he told me he had to talk to me he got a phone call and I could have sworn his face became pale when he saw the caller ID, and after that call he left.

I felt so angry at him after that, because I just woke and there he goes out the door. But I think I'm pass that now, I mean I can't hold him back. He has a life after all.

"I came to give you…uh these." The older man's face flushed a pink color and he pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind him. The flowers were tulips ranging from pink to white, to even yellow. I couldn't help the smile that found its way to my lips.

"I'm pretty sure you would have wanted a video game, but I had no clue what you liked to play, so I hope these are okay."

I swallowed the tears that threatened to fall and just shook my head, "I-It's okay." I really didn't know what to say and so I awkwardly messed with the bed sheets.

"Um…I'm sorry I wasn't here for the past couple of days, I uh had some business to do," Yongguk moved further into the room and placed the flowers on the side desk next to my bed and then sat down in the vacant chair next to the door, "How are you feeling Zelo?"

I grew impatient just waiting for him to start asking me personal questions, "I'm-I'm doing better."

I lied.

"Ah, well that's good."

My hands tightened into fists as a certain question found its way into my mind, and I really wanted to ask him. Though fear kept me from doing so, it was like the words were caught in my throat and it was an inner battle of wither to release the words or not.

As this inner battle continued Yongguk-Hyung continued to talk, but before the words reached my ears it was like they disappeared into thin air. My head was numb and my eyes stayed fixed on my hands in front of me.

What is wrong with me? Why can't I ask him, I shouldn't be so scared? What's the worse he could do? Walk out of that door and never want to see me again?

Just knowing that that's what he could do made my mouth go dry and my throat constrict.

"Ze-Zelo-ah? Are you okay?" His question pulled me from my thoughts and I found myself staring into his brown orbs. My heart skipped a beat and all I could do to answer his question was nod my head.

"Good," He flashed me a gummy smile and then it faded to a frown and I found my lips dropping as well, "I'm sorry I can't keep you." Before I had anytime to respond with some of my own words he continued, "Some-Some things popped up and it wouldn't be safe for you to live with me."

Confusion found its way into my thoughts again. What was he talking about? Why wouldn't it be safe for me to live with him?

"It's best that HimChan takes you for a while…well maybe for good."

Now it was anger that found its way to my heart. Why is he being so selfish? "But…but I don't want to live with HimChan." I said and I was sure he did not hear me.

"I'm sorry Zelo, but it's not safe for us to be near one another. That's why I came one last time to say bye. HimChan already knows about all of this and he too thinks it's best for you…and for me."

I could not control the tears that fell from my eyes as my anger grew more, "How do you guys know what's best for me!? I've only been with you two for about a month, so how can you just do this to me!?" I couldn't help the words from flowing from my mouth like water. I wanted him to know how I felt about all of this. To me it was not fair that they would just treat me like a child, especially after everything I've been through. I would say I am way past my child years, "I am not a child I think I should have a say in where I want to live! You guys cannot just decided for me!"

"Z…I'm sorry but this is something you don't have a say in." He said his voice cracking, but I couldn't tell if it was because he wanted to cry or because he was getting angry.

"But-But I want to stay with you Yongguk-Hyung, don't you remember you have all those questions to ask me!?" At this point the tears were never going to end and it caused my words to come out shaky. I didn't even care if he found out everything about me, he can ask what ever question he wants and I will be more than willing to answer, I-I just don't want him to leave me…I feel like when I'm around him a void in my heart and soul is filled and its filled with this warm and bubbly feeling that comforts me unlike anything else.

The look he gave me was full of…pity? It was like his whole features grown cold and the look he gave me stopped the tears in their tracks.

"JunHong you need to move past all of this, I've only been with you for two days. We both need to just leave it at that. I care for you and all but not to the extant your making it out to be, so this is good bye."

I couldn't believe the words that just left his mouth. It sent a wave of pain through my heart and it caused the tears to return. His voice was so cold and I couldn't wrap my brain around why.

Why was he being so harsh? He came here with flowers and apologized for them, he even gave me that comforting gummy smile of his, so why are his words dripping with venom?

He stood up from the chair and I felt my body reach for his, my mind went blank and it was like I ceased to exist.

Zelo's Alternate Personality's POV

When I came out I was already fully aware of what was going on and I was not happy with the way this 'Bang' was making my Zelo feel.

I had took hold of his wrist and pulled him back into the conversation. The tears Zelo was shedding had disappeared and that left me room to give this man an evil glare.

"Who the hell do you think you are hurting Zelo like that you fucking ass hole!?" I couldn't help the words I used and the way I used them. I was angry and I wanted him to know that I didn't accept him hurting Zelo. I know I should have spoke in first person, but it's too late now.

"Wh-what?" He asked really confused, and in my opinion out of confusion he stopped moving and stayed in place looking at me.

"Do you even realize how much he loves you and here you are turning your back on him…I will give you a chance if you promise to stay by his side." I internally cringed at the thought of giving this guy a chance, but if he makes Zelo happy then I will gladly open my arms…well to an extent.

His brow furrowed and his lips moved down into a frown, "What the hell are you talking about Zelo? Why are you talking in 3rd person, and what's this about love?"

I guess I really did confuse the older man, "I'm talking about how Zelo really likes you; when he's around you I don't have to come out much and that's a good thing. What is so important that you have to toss him to the side!?" This man was starting to get on my nerves and I was so prepared to just let him leave and never come back.

"I have no clue what you're talking about Zelo, but this isn't funny." He tore his wrist from my hand and continued out the door, "I'm sorry JunHong…" He paused for a moment and didn't even bother to look back at me, "This is goodbye, please take care."

With those last words he walked out the door and a hollow feeling filled my heart. I think Zelo had felt all of this, he knew that Bang walked out that door and he knows he's not coming back.

I reached my fingers to my cheek as I felt a warm liquid slide down my skin. I was crying…why was I crying?

Bang Yongguk, just who are you to Zelo?

Zelo's POV (The real Zelo)

It felt as though I had passed out in mid action. All I could remember was reaching for Yongguk-Hyung's arm and then my mind went blank. My mind felt like it was full of cement and I couldn't register my surroundings or even complete a full thought.

What had happened and why am I crying? I felt so empty and with Yongguk-Hyung no longer here I felt even worse. What happened? Why did I black out? Why is this happening to me?

I threaded my fingers into my hair and pulled as the tears flowed even more. My knees came up to my chest and I couldn't help but let the tears flow. I am so tired and so, so, so lost. Nothing in this world makes sense anymore. The emotions that sowed themselves into my heart yanked on the organ like puppet stings, the puppet master being Yongguk-Hyung.

"Please, please, please….why won't you just go away?" I found myself rocking slightly while I whispered nonsense to myself.

"Zelo!" I heard HimChan's voice in the back ground and to me it sounded like he was miles away, but by the touch I felt on my back I knew he was right by my side, "What happened Zelo!? Are you okay?!" He asked.

I had no strength to turn my head and look at my cousin; I was just being consumed by an abyss.

Yongguk-Hyung.

"I lost him HimChan…and I don't even know why."

~ChApTeR EnD~

A/N: So another chapter finished. I would have made this one longer but I wanted to end it here because of plot development.

I also wanted to thank all those commenter's who wrote about past events that I still have to bring up again. I almost forgot, but NOW they're worked into the story line. So thank you soooooooo much. XD

And im so sorry I feel like a horrible author ending all of my chapters in such a horrible way, I will make it up to all of readers.


	8. Tangled Up In You

A/N: CHAPTER EIGHT! Awesomeness, I can't believe I wrote this much. I've never stuck to a story this long. I hope everyone is enjoying this. ^.^

Chapter Eight: Tangled up in You

Zelo's POV

It's been two weeks since I got out of the hospital and it's been two weeks since Bang Yongguk left my life. For the first couple of days I was in a daze. I couldn't really focus on reality; I was having a hard time wrapping my brain around what had happened between the two of us. It made no sense. Maybe he just didn't want to deal with me after what happened last time.

I am broken…I have no need to someone so put together like Yongguk-Hyung. That's why he left.

HimChan-Hyung had told me not to worry about him; that he will tell me why he left when he's done taking care of some personal business. I want to believe him, I really do, but that look that the older man gave me before he walked out of the room was unlike anything I have ever seen. It sent a shiver down my spine and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on edge. It wasn't natural and it wasn't normal. It felt cold along with the aura that wrapped itself around his body like a blanket. He wasn't the Bang Yongguk that I first met. No he was someone new and he didn't want me around anymore.

For the past couple of weeks HimChan had took off work and has been by me every second from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, and everyday like clockwork JongUp-Hyung would come over. We made up and he apologized to me for that time in the basement, and I held no grudge against him. Now that my head was much clearer I knew he didn't know the whole situation and thought of me as just some prostitute they picked up on some corner, and so I had no reason to hate him. And now that Yongguk-Hyung knows my past I have no reason to "persuade" him to keep it a secret.

And ya' know I'm fine with that, I feel so content with him here with me and HimChan-Hyung. Seeing them together makes me so happy, so happy to the point I can' wait tell the point I get to experience the same bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach and the swelling of my heart each time that special someone comes clo-…Yongguk.

Yongguk-Hyung…he made me feel like that…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts of him, he is out of my life there is no need to dwell on the memories of him, they will bring me nothing but a sore heart and I refuse to let that happen. I should be happy. I have a family a real family, one that loves me and that will always be here for me and that would never follow the footsteps of my past family.

Kim HimChan and Moon JongUp, they are my family, they are the ones that will be here to love me and I want to be here to love them back. Yongguk missed out, yep Zelo tell yourself that he missed out.

"Zelo!" I snapped out of my thoughts and turned my head to see HimChan walking into the living room with two duffle bags in each hand.

"Hey HimChan-Hyung…What's the bags for?" I asked sitting up on the couch and turning my body a little more to face him.

"I'm so sorry to do this to you, but the office called and I have to hurry and go on this overseas trip for them since I'm the CEO."

HimChan sat down the bags and I stood up from the couch so that I could walk over to him.

"It's okay HimChan-Hyung, I understand."

He gave me a sad worried mother hen look and placed him hands on my shoulder, "It's only going to be for a few days and I've asked JongUp to come check up on you every day after work, okay?"

I flashed him a soft smile and nodded my head, "Don't worry I'll be fine, you just hurry and catch your flight."

He returned my smile and dropped his hands from my shoulders and instead picking up his bags again, "You have all of the emergency contacts and you know where all my emergency kits are, so I want you to behave yourself and only go outside when JongUp is with you, I trust you and all but not people. You got it Choi JunHong?" I scratched back of my neck and gave him a bigger smile. When he uses my full name he means business.

"Don't worry I got this."

He dropped his serious look and leaned into my body for an awkward hug. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, since he was shorter than me, and helped complete the hug.

"Are you sure you'll be okay without me?" He asked, his voice muffled by my tee-shirt. The smile I wore fell into a soft frown, "Last time I left you, you-"I didn't let him finish his sentence.

"I'm better now HimChan, please don't worry about me, if anything happens and I start to feel sad again I'll tell JongUp-Hyung…Okay? So don't worry." I think my words put him at ease because he didn't press the matter and instead moved out of my arms and gave me a small smile.

"Okay Zelo, then I guess I will see you when I get back, remember in about 3 days I'll be back." I nodded my head and he turned towards the door.

"I love you Zelo." He said as I opened the front door for him and I couldn't believe what HimChan said. This is the first time I heard him say those words to me, and to hear them made me so happy. This is why I need to live on; so that I can take care of those I love.

"I love you too HimChan-Hyung." The words came out clear even though I can feel the happy tears brimming the corner of my eyes.

"See you later kiddo."

"See ya'." With that I closed the door and locked it.

I found some people I truly love.

I spent the next hour watching TV until JongUp-Hyung showed up with some take out. I was really happy, just laying there being bored made me hungry and before he even said hello I "helped" him take the food to the kitchen.

"Good to see you haven't lost your appetite." He joked laughing at me as I already took a container and started pigging out on the food. "I'm a growing teenage boy." I said between swallowing and chewing my food. My cheeks flushed a light pink and he just continued to laugh at me well also digging into the food.

It was nice having some company, being here all alone in this house sure takes me back to all those times I was alone in that basement, I don't like being alone and I'm glad HimChan picked up on that.

"You're such a cutie!" JongUp-Hyung ruffled my blond locks and I couldn't help the pout that found its way on my lips, "I wouldn't make that face if I was you; it just makes you look cuter."

I couldn't stop the pout and instead just swatted him hand away.

"shut up…" I mumbled and he just laughed and ruffled my hair once more.

Jonguppie is so mean, and I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips.

After dinner we sat down and watched a movie, but half way through JongUp-Hyung passed out, to exgsusted from work to keep his eyes open. I tried to wake him up, but he really was a deep sleeper and so instead I moved his legs onto the couch and covered him with a blanket. Making sure all the lights were off and everything was locked I made my way to my room. I was getting tired myself but I didn't want to sleep and so I just turned off my light and sat in my bed.

My eyes became adjusted to the dark and I just looked around my room, my new home. In just about two months my whole life changed. Something I couldn't change in 17 years changed in 24 hours. I truly am grateful for the man that saved me and I wish I could have met him at least once, but everything was moving too fast that I had no time to ask them about the man. Well it's not like I had the courage then. Now that I think about it, I've changed so much since being free. All the people I came in contact with, HimChan, JongUp, Youngjae, Daehyun, and even Yongguk, they all changed my life and I can never thank them enough.

My mind swan with happy memories I had made in the past weeks. Especially the two weeks I spent with HimChan-Hyung. A smile tugged at the corners of my lip. And even spending those couple days with Yong-

My head shot to the bed side table as my phone began to violently vibrate, the bright screen illuminating the room. I don't know why but butterflies began to dance in my stomach. Reaching out a weary hand I took the phone and picked it up. Glancing at the caller ID I practically felt my breath catch.

Yongguk…he was calling me. 

With out fully thinking I pressed the green button on the phone and placed it to my ear. With a shaky voice I said, "Hello."

"Ze-Zelo, it's so good to hear your voice." My heart skipped a beat and then began to move at an alarming speed. His voice was as deep as ever, but something was off. He sounded distressed, and he spoke in a soft tone, like he was making sure no to wake up a lion…or something.

"Yon-Yongguk-Hyung…is that you?" I asked still trying to register the fact that he is calling me. I thought he was done with me?

"Ye-yeah it's me…I know this is confusing," I really didn't know what to say to him and so I allowed him to carry on the conversation, "But I need you to understand that what I said to you in the hospital was because I want to protect you, I actually shouldn't be calling you right now, but…but I needed to hear your voice." His last words lingered in my mind and my throat became dry.

He wanted to hear me? He wanted to protect me? Just what the hell is going on?

"Ze-Zelo are you still there?" He asked sounding worried.

"Yeah…yeah I'm here." My voice cracked as I spoke and I could feel a tear slid down my cheek.

"I thought you hung up on me, like you didn't want to talk to me again." When he said these words he sounded sad, like he really thought that I didn't want to talk to him. Well I guess not even I know if I want to talk to him again. I'm so confused, but a part of me was saying that I should be happy that he called me, happy that I know he hasn't completely forgotten about me.

"I know this is out of the blue, but I promise you I will tell you the truth when I finish up this business, and Zelo, I'm sorry I hurt you, but please understand that was not my intention…"

"Where are you?" I interrupted him, the way his voice shook told me he was going through something terrible and I just wanted to know so that I could help him.

"I-I'm sorry but I can't tell you…trust me okay." He didn't seem upset at the topic change and he tried his hardest to reassure me, but I had a bad feeling in my gut.

"Zelo?" His voice was softer as he spoke my name and it made my body quiver.

"Yes, Yongguk-Hyung?"

"I know you're a rapper, but can you sing for me?" His question surprised me and I didn't really know how to answer him. I couldn't believe that he remembered, "Please Zelo…I just need something a little more real at the moment."

My cheeks flushed a bright red that went unnoticed and I tried to form a sentence. Here Yongguk was calling me out of the blue; refusing to answer any questions as to where he was and now he wants me to sing for him.

"What song would I sing?" I managed to ask, not really sure if I wanted to or not.

"Any, something soft…please Z."

He said please again…I guess I have no choice on this matter.

"Fine I will, but when all of this business of yours is done and over with, you have to rap for me." I smiled at the deal I came up with on the spot, but it was perfect! I've always wanted to hear that voice of his rap to something.

He let out a deep chuckle that caused my heart to beat radically, "You have a deal cutie pie." I could feel my whole body heat up at his words and I fumbled for words to say, but before I managed to get them out Yongguk-Hyung spoke, "Sing me a love song…please."

Putting his last sentence to the side I focused all my thoughts on what to sing, and then it hit me! I knew the perfect one, "Okay I got one."

"Let's hear it."

"_You're my world, the shelter form the rain. _

_You're the pills that take away my pain_

_You're the light that helps me find my way_

_You're the words when I have nothing to say_

_And in this world where nothing else is true_

_Here I am still tangled up in you_

_I'm still tangled up in you _

_Still tangled up in you_

_You're the fire that warms me when I'm cold _

_You're the hand I have to hold as I grow old_

_You're the shore when I am lost at sea_

_You're the only thing I like about me_

_And in this world where nothing else is true_

_Here I am still tangled up in you_

_I'm still tangled up in you_

_How long has it been since this story land begin _

_And I hope it never ends and goes like this forever _

_In this world where nothing else is true_

_Here I am still tangled up in you_

_Tangled up in you_

_I'm still tangled up in you_

_Still tangled up in you."_

Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes, but they didn't interfere with my voice. I don't know why I am on the verge of crying, but there's just something about this moment that feels me with a sense of sadness.

"Tha-that was beautiful…Zelo? You still there?" I shook my head, clearing this uneasy feeling.

"Tha-thanks…I hoped you liked it."

"I did and thank you, this means a lot to me, you have no idea." His voice sounded softer with a hint of sadness in it as well. I think he feels the same thing I do, but I can't talk about it. I feel like we both understand this sadness yet we can't identify why it's there. All we know is that we don't have to speak a word of it, just allow it to pass through our actions.

"Yongguk-Hyung, please tell me where you are?" I couldn't help the words from spewing from my mouth. I wanted, no I needed to know.

"I'm sorry Zelo I can't tell you, but thank you for the song." I opened my mouth to speak again, but he interrupted once again, "Bye Z."

"No! Yongguk! Don't you hang up on me! NO!" I pulled the phone away from my ear to see that his caller ID was no longer showing. "Fuck!" I threw the phone onto the carpeted ground, not wanting to see it at the moment.

Tears began to fall down my cheeks and next thing I know JongUp-Hyung runs into my room, a look of panic on his face as he held a…stool.

"Zelo, are you okay? What's wrong?!" He asked flipping on the light and looking franticly around the room.

"He did it again."

~ChApTeR eNd~

A/N: Well this is getting interesting, just wait until you see what I have planned for next time. So I know this took a while tell I updated, I just had a lot of finals to wrap up. BUT! Now I'm on summer break and that gives me more time to write so that also means I will be updating sooner. XD

Thank you to all those who love my story and who comment, subscribe, upvote, are awesome sauce, etc.

The song I used is called, Tangled Up In You by Staind.


	9. The Pretty One

A/N: I feel like a horrible person -_-U for that last chapter. And I'm sorry this chapter is not that long.

Chapter Nine: The Pretty One

Zelo's POV

I was still fuming from what Yongguk-Hyung had done; it's been a couple days since then, but just hearing his voice was enough to make me miss him even more. It's getting harder to get him out of mind; I think I've gone crazy. My bodies been wracked with worry and anxiety. I can feel that something bad is going to happen and I just want Yongguk-Hyung to be safe.

HimChan-Hyung is still on his business trip and he hasn't called me, but I'm sure he's just busy. I mean he did take of a couple weeks to be with me, so he must have been packed with work to do. And every day after work JongUp-Hyung stops by and for the past two nights he spent the night; which makes me feel more comfortable. The night Yongguk-Hyung called JongUp-Hyung didn't say anything, all he did was climb into the bed with me and wrap his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest. The small action pulled me over the edge and I couldn't help but ball my eyes out. The tears just poured out like a waterfall and it seemed they would never end. But when they did I was too tired and worn out that I didn't feel angry any more. I felt free and for that brief moment before I passed out I was in sweet serenity.

It was almost as sweet as the first moment I met Yongguk-Hyung.

"Zelo dinners ready!" JongUp-Hyung yelled from the kitchen.

Standing up from the couch I made my way to the dining room where the older man had already place to plates. Taking my usual spot I started to eat. He sat down on the opposite side and also dug into his food.

"So…how was your day?" He asked me after swallowing.

"It was okay, pretty plain." I stated since the only thing I really did today was lounge around.

"Plain huh? Well I have the day off tomorrow, how bout we go do something?" My features lite up at the idea of getting out of this house and I nodded my head 'yes'. "Perfect, think of what you want to do tonight and I will see what I can do." He gave me a soft smile which I returned.

We both continued to eat in silence, but that was soon interrupted by a loud ringing coming from JongUp-Hyung's phone. He placed his chopsticks down and pulled out the mobile devices. As soon as he read the caller ID he stood from the table and waved his hand at me, "Excuse me Z, I'll be right back."

I nodded my head and he walked into the living room. When he answered the phon in a hushed tone and it was hard to hear him. My curiosity grew and I could no longer sit at the table. Standing up I moved silently to the wall that separated the living room and dining room; standing right next to the door way I could hear JongUp talking to someone in a nervous voice.

"Yongguk-Hyung, what are we going to do if he finds out about Z. You know he's not going to be civil bout this. You are in real danger get out well you can and meet with me and the others so that we can devise a plan. Don't do anything stupid Bang."

My eyes widened and I could feel my stomach drop. Just what was he talking about, and why's he talking to Yongguk-Hyung? Who's going to find me? Damn it all these adults piss me off.

JongUp-Hyung nodded his head a few times and turned his body so that his back was facing me.

"Just be careful okay, and check in with me later. Got it Bang?" He was silent for a moment and then he hung up the phone, stuffing it back into his pocket. Straightening myself I walked out into the living room. JongUp-Hyung turned around and gave me a startled look.

"Z-Z what's up? Are you okay?" He asked his expression turning to one of confusion and worry.

"That was Yongguk-Hyung…why where you talking to him?" I asked walking closer to the older man. I pointed a finger to the pocket he put the phone in.

"Um, Z it's uh…not what it looks like." He started as he scratched the back of his neck out of nervousness, "Bang, you see, is very busy right now and I'm-I'm just helping him."

Why do they all have to talk to me like I'm a fucking kid, I feel like he's patronizing me. "I'm not a fucking kid Jongup! What the hell is going on and why do all of you stupid adults keep lying to me. I know something is happening, so why aren't any of you telling me. I deserve to know. I'm friends with Yongguk-Hyung too." I could feel the tears prickling the corner of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall, as Jongup fumbled for what to say I bit the inside of my mouth just trying to contain my anger and sadness at these so called grownups.

"Zelo, please you must understand that we're trying to protect you here. When it's all over then we'll tell what happen, but for now we need you to trust us…please." He looked at me with pleading eyes as he walked closer to me, he reached his hand out to take hold of my arms, but my body flinched away and he froze in his tracks.

"Zelo? Please." He said once more taking a step back, seeing how uncomfortable I was.

"No, no I can't do this, you! You guys are such assholes!" This time the tears came and spilled down my cheeks. Bringing a hand up to wipe them away I turned from Jongup and ran to the door.

Next thing I knew I was running down the street with Jongup in toe. My mind raced with reasons why they would be keeping me out of things, and why Yongguk-Hyung would call Jongup-Hyung but not me. This isn't right, none of this is right. I wish Himchan-Hyung was here, he would tell me, he would explain why everyone is keeping secrets from me.

My hands stayed up near my eyes, wiping away any and all tears. I lost Jongup-Hyung a while ago and now I'm just wondering the streets, not really caring where I end up. I felt lost…again. I just want things to be like how they were when I was with Yongguk-Hyung. I just want to feel comfortable again, where I don't have to worry if people are lying to me.

I walked over to a bench; somehow I ended up in a park. Taking a seat I just stared blankly ahead of me. The tears I was sheading had dried and I knew my eyes where a puffy red and I was slightly trembling, but I didn't care.

Maybe I should try and off myself again, maybe this time I won't survive and then I can finally be rid of all of these suffocating emotions….maybe I will.

3rd POV

As Zelo sat on the bench pondering what he should do, two people sat in a plain black van watching the young boy. They both wore dark clothing and made sure that they could see Zelo, but the boy could not see them.

"So that's him?" The one in the passenger seat asked the driver.

"Yep, Choi Junhong, Bang's boy toy." The one driving took out a cigarette and lit it, blowing puffs of smoke into the air.

"Do we get him now?" The other asked in an impatient tone.

"No boss man said he wants them to know we have the other one before we take the kid."

"The other one?" The passenger asked looking over to the driver, "Oh! You mean that real pretty one with the black hair!" He said with a surprised look.

"Yeah, we're just here to make sure the kid doesn't skip out or does anything stupid." The driver continued.

"Well to me," The passenger said looking back at Zelo, "It looks like the kid doesn't know anything about what's going on."

"I guess that's good then, he gets to stay alive a little bit longer."

The passenger guy let out a manic laugh and then rested his chin on the dash of the van just staring at Zelo, "Does it matter, he's going to die anyway."

~Chapter End~

A/N: TT^TT Please nobody kill me, I knew I said I would get this chapter out soon, but life got in the way, BUT now it's out so I hope you all enjoy. XD


	10. I Cut Myself Open, I Sow Myself Shut

TMHB Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten: I Cut Myself Open, I Sow Myself Shut

JongUp's POV

I sat on the couch nervously tapping my foot, just waiting for the front door to open and for Zelo to walk in, but so far that has not happen. My head glanced at the clock that hung on the far wall, across from the couch. It read 12:36; I hung my head in the palms of my hands. I was worried out of my mind, but after I lost him, when I was chasing after him, I couldn't find him anywhere. I searched all of the places I thought he would be.

He would come back, I just needed to give him some time to collect his thoughts and he will eventually come back. He's in no danger and I just need to calm down. I kept saying that over and over in my mind, just to calm this overwhelming anxiety I felt.

Himchan would so kill me if he found out. When Zelo gets home, this is going to be our little secret, so that my love doesn't kill either of us.

Just as I was wrapping up my thought on what to tell Zelo about Himchannie the front door slowly opened, and in stumbled the young teen. He seemed exhausted as he came in and weakly pushed the front door closed. His curly blond hair a mess, probably from running, and his almond colored eyes were dazed over. Guilt washed over me for letting him run off like that. I should have looked harder for him.

"Z-Zelo?" I asked hesitantly reaching out a hand as I inched closer to him.

"I'm sorry for worrying you…" He spoke just before I got to close to him. His voice was rough and low. If I was any further away I probably wouldn't have heard him.

"It's okay Z…I know you are mad, but you have to trust me. I will tell you everything soon, okay?" I said advancing forward.

"…I'm not mad any more, I just want to sleep." When I was close I placed a hand on his shoulder and I could just feel his body tense. Slowly I removed my hand and just gave him a wary smile.

"Okay Z, but if you need anything don't hesitate to tell me, okay?" I said taking a step back.

"Yeah…" The teen just bowed his head and after giving a short wave of his hand and a small 'good night' he shuffled off to bed.

Just when I heard his door close with a soft click I made my way to the kitchen. Reaching into the cabinet near the fridge I pulled out a bottle of alcohol. I needed a drink; I just had no idea what to do with this kid. Of course I love him and all, but I don't know how to handle a teenager. Taking a quick swig from the bottle I squeezed my eyes shut at the burning sensation that made its way down my throat. Letting out a low groan I rested my chin in my hand on the counter. I just wish HimChan was here, he'd know what to do about Zelo.  
>I want to tell him, but I promised both HimChan and Yongguk that I would keep my lips sealed tell they both were ready to tell him. This is just killing me, I mean I already hurt the kid once and now that I'm doing it again is just dragging my heart through the dirt, actually through shards of glass. That's more accurate.<p>

"Gha!" I banged my head against the counter in agitation. Why did I have to be the one to watch Zelo and lie to him?

Zelo's POV

I am pissed; forget what I said to JongUp-Hyung. I'm mad at these adults for keeping things from me. But at the moment I really am too tired to argue and figure out what the hell is going on; that can wait tell tomorrow when HimChan-Hyung comes home. For now I need to sleep. My eyelids feel as though they are made of led, it's getting harder to stay awake…

_ It's so warm here…in fact where am I? My limbs feel weightless and it's as if I am surrounded by a great warmth. Everything feels so real and calm. My brown eyes open and I come face to face with…Yongguk-Hyung? He and I are enclosed in each other's arms. His resting around my chest well my hands are gently on his chest, his strong chest that creases me with strength. It's as though his own energy, his own power is flowing into my own body and I can't help the thin smile that makes its way on to my lips. We finally get to lie together._

_"Hey Zelo…I'm sorry I left you. You know I didn't mean it." His voice is music to my ears and it rings through my body filling me with a sense of hope. I know he didn't mean to leave me alone; I know he has to care for me or else we wouldn't be lying like this right now. Our legs are tangled and I have just realized that we are both naked. A thin black sheet lay across our waists shielding my eyes from seeing just how close we really are._

_ Even as we lay together like this, with no clothes on at all, I feel completely pure. Everything about my past has seemed to dissipate and now it no longer exists; I am completely born a new._

_"It's okay." I find myself saying. My voice is soft and but a whisper, I don't have to talk to loud with how close Yongguk-Hyung is to me._

_A gummy smile finds its way onto his lips and he reaches up a hand so that his fingers can gracefully graze across my cheek; his thumb coming to slide across my bottom lip. I could feel my heart beat frantically and I fear that it's going to jump right out of my chest. I hope that my heart is not beating so loud, so that Yongguk-Hyung does not hear it. My cheeks flushed a bright pink when he leaned in and softly pressed his lips against mine. It was as if we were struck by an electrical current, my body felt as though fireworks where going off. I may have been kissed before, but never like this; this was sensual and caring. It was as though I could feel every emotion Hyung is putting into it and I know he could feel my own emotions as I kiss him back._

_The kiss remains with just us pressing our lips together; he does not push himself onto me and for that I want to thank him. It was like my body was craving this kind of attention because as soon as we pull away I want to dive right back into it, but instead he smirks and rests his bigger palm on my neck, his thumb drawing small circles on my cheek._

_"I Lo-"_

I groggily open my eyes to see my phone buzzing, the light laminating the room. Groaning from being awaked from such a nice dream I push myself up so that I am leaning on my elbow. Reaching out with my free hand I flip the phone open, not even bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Hello." My voice is dry and groggy and I let out a small cough to try and clear it.

"Hey Zelo."

I felt as though someone gave me a shot of adrenalin; I immediately sit up and taking the phone in my other hand pressing it to my ear as if by doing that I would become closer to Yongguk-Hyung.

"Listen okay, I can't talk long, but I still have one more question to ask you." It was really Yongguk-Hyung, but why is he still asking questions. This is not fare I want to have my questions answered.

"Hy-Hyung, where are you? Why haven't you called in a while?" I wanted to shoot off my questions, but if I did that I doubt he would be able to even understand me.

"Zelo, tell me what happened between you and JongUp." A frown crossed my lips as he completely ignored my question. Why does he even want to know what happened between me and JongUp-Hyung, it has nothing to do with him anyway…I just want some of my own questions answered.

"I'm not going to say until you tell me whither you are safe or not Yongguk-Hyung!" I demanded. That's the least I want to know. I want to make sure that he's okay. That he's not going to sound like how he did when he first called me.

I could hear him let out a small sigh, as though he really didn't want to tell me. "I'm fine Z, you don't need to worry. Now come on spill it."

I knew he wasn't going to give me much to go on and there was no point in arguing with him, he could just hang up on me at any moment and I want to stay on the phone with him as long as possible.

"When I was, uh…still with my real parents I was pi-pimped out to a group of three that were a part of a gang…and well, uh, they were umm, ya' know having se-sex with me JongUp-Hyung walked on it. I-I wanted him to save me, but uh he just thought I was a pro-prostitute. But I don't blame him, it's not like people could tell at the time…" I trailed off feeling completely embarrassed saying all of this. My cheeks were radiating heat and the silence on the other end wasn't helping. I just wanted him to say something.

"Yo-Yongguk-Hyung?"

"I'm sorry Zelo, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you then." His voice sounded as though it was cracking with anger as well as though he was choking back tears.

"Wh-what are you talking about? You didn't do anything wrong, and it's not like we knew each other then." I said trying to calm him down; I didn't like him sounding like this. It just made me feel confused.

"It's my fault, I could have saved you, and then you wouldn't have had to suffer any longer! It was my job! I'm just so sorry Zelo; I promise you I will make it up to you. I will make everything right, okay?" He was starting to scare me. With every word it was like his stress was rising and I felt as though it was my fault. Why was he saying such things?

"Hyung, why are you talking like that? You don't have to make anything up to me." I stated but my words fell on deaf ears.

"I'm so sorry Zelo…" Just as the words left his mouth I could hear him swallow a sad groan, as if he was on the verge of tears.

"Hy-Hyung!" I wanted to gain his attention, but it was too late, just as I called out to him he hung up the phone.

My cell phone fell from my hands on the bed. I felt lost, completely crushed. What was going on, and why does everyone have to keep me I the dark? No one wants to fill me in and I feel useless. I have no real place. It's like I'm back in that basement. I don't belong anywhere. I was foolish to believe I could start over with HimChan-Hyung, JongUp-Hyung, and even Yongguk-Hyung. Right now I really wish those pills would have worked. I don't want to be here anymore. Life should have ended for me a long time ago, so why do I still continue to live?

It was as though I had no control of my body. My hand through the covers from my body and I climbed out of bed. I was in a daze as I walked out of the room and down the hall. I came to HimChan-Hyung and JongUp-Hyung's room. Without knocking I walked in. The room was dark but small slivers of moon light made their way in and shown me the way to the bed. There under the covers was an outline of JongUp-Hyung. Slowly I climbed into the bed and just as I reached the top JongUp-Hyung awoke with a start.

"Whoa! Ze-Zelo, are you okay?" He asked trying to wake up and focus on me. I climbed under the covers and laid with my back facing him. I could hear JongUp let out a small tired sigh that I know wasn't directed to me. He scooted closer to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder pulling me into his chest. It didn't feel as warm and comforting as Yongguk-Hyungs but it will do.

"Would you like to talk about it?" He asked his voice soft and quiet. I felt as though he wanted to listen to me spill my guts, and that was okay with me.

Tears flowed from my eyes and slid down my cheek and across my nose moving its way across my face and finally landing on the pillow, "I think-I think I love him." I said in a chocked voice. I didn't even need to say his name because I knew Hyung would get me.

"I love him, and I don't even know if he even likes me!" This time the tears flowed at a heavier pace, "I just wish he would confined in me, that all you stupid adults would include me in your problems. It's-it's not fare that I'm the only one in the shadows."

As I continued to complain JongUp-Hyung continued to listen. I was able to get all of my problems off my chest and into the hands of another person. It didn't take me long to just fall asleep, and for the first time I couldn't wait to dream.

JongUp's POV

It's been about twenty minutes since Zelo passed out, and I just couldn't help but lightly pet his hair, gently pushing it out of his baby like face. He was just so cute and peaceful looking when he is asleep. It brought a small smile to my lips, but that quickly faded as his words passed through my mind.

"You will know what's going on pretty soon Zelo, I wish none of this included you, but it appears you are the main piece in his plot for revenge. I'm so sorry Zelo."

~Chapter End~

A/N: Man! It took me awhile to get this out and I apologize for that it's just that life seems to be against me this time of the year, and so I am so sorry for the long wait. I promise I will try and get the next one out sooner, as long as life doesn't descried to be a bitch and throw more problems my then we will be fine. Any whooo I hoped you enjoyed and we are closing in on the final chaptersssss! Kinda sad but like all great things, this must come to an end. XD


	11. Love is Hell

Chapter Eleven: Love is Hell

Zelo's POV

"_I love you." The words were soft in themselves and over flowing with care. There was just something in the way that my father wrapped his arms around my mother's waist from behind that pulled anyone around in and engulfed them in a warm feeling. He would reach an arm around her shoulder and take a hold of her chin turning her face so that they were looking into each other's eyes._

"_I love you." He repeated again with emotion in his gaze; he leaned forward and pressed his lips against my mothers. It was a long and soft kiss; they never went past the lips, but that's all they need to do to convey their feelings. _

_ I didn't want to be left out, I ran from out behind the kitchen door frame and made my way to my parents. My father kept his arms around my mother, but this time they both tore their eyes from each other to look at me as I wrapped my small arms around their legs. _

"_Hey son, what are you doing?" My mother asked reaching a hand out to ruffle my hair. I couldn't help but smile and give her the biggest grin I could muster. _

_I'm so happy like this._

"_I love you guys too!" I shouted, pouting this time. I wanted them to tell me they love me too, it's not fair._

_My father let out a hearty chuckle as he placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it slightly. _

"_Don't worry JunHong, we love you too." He said and glanced towards my mother._

"_We would never do anything to harm you." _

_I glanced from my mother who just spoke and my father who was still smiling, "I know."_

My eyes snapped open and I found myself looking at the wall my bed was pressed against. My breathing was labored and it was hard to take in air. I reached a hand up to rush my hair from out of my face, but I came in contact with wet tears streaming down my cheeks. I'm crying, why am I crying?  
>That dream, why did I have it? I don't want to remember then, I don't want to even think of them. Those two are dead to me, I should not waste my time dreaming of them let alone crying over them. I do not need them; I have Himchan and Jongup-Hyung. They love me, they take care of me, and they would never do anything to hurt me like those two have done. Sighing to myself I pushed my body up so that I was now sitting down. My eyes felt swollen and I'm pretty sure they are puffy and red. I felt achy all over, my head throbbed something awful. Bringing a hand up I wiped at my eyes before throwing the blankets off my body and getting out of bed.<p>

I need food, yeah and a shower. That sounds nice. _You need Yongguk_. Yeah I need yonggu- wait just a minute! I do not! _Yes you do_. No I don't that prick can shove it up his ass. All he's done is make me cry and stay up late up at night worrying over whether or not he is okay!

I walked out of the room and made my way down the narrow hallway to the living room. Just admit it Zelo you need Yongguk as much as he needs you. No I do not, now shut up. I don't need Yongguk-Hyung, I don't even wan-

As soon as I rounded the corner into the living room I froze. This can't be happening, why now!? I felt my body slump forward as I let out another sigh. That seemed to have gained their attention. Jongup-Hyung and Yongguk-Hyung turned their heads and gave me a surprised look. "Hey there Z, finally awake I see." Jongup-Hyung smiled.

I gave him a hesitant smile before looking at Yongguk-Hyung who now stood up. I was about to say hello to him as well, but before I was able to even get the whole word out I was enveloped in a huge warmth. He was hugging me…I don't know how I should react. Should I hug him back? No, come on Zelo isn't he the one who has been making you cry. The voice in my head mocked. And you know what he was right. I pushed out of his grasp and in one smooth movement I punched him in the face. His head snapped to the side and his brown eyes were wide with shock. I heard Jongup let out a small gasp as well, but I didn't care. Like the voice in my head said, this is basically payback for making me worry.

"You prick!" I yelled, my eyes narrowed in a scowl and I stepped away from him.

"Oww." Bang said as he straightened up and rubbed a hand against his jaw that was now a bright red, "What was that for Z?" He asked looking at me with a faint confusion in his eyes.

I couldn't stop the tears from swelling in my eyes, after so long he's finally here in front of me. He doesn't look injured, just really tired and even then it great to see him again. My hands that were balled into fists at my side eased up and I brought them up to wide at the tears that now slid down my cheeks "You-you jerk." I choked out again, but this time it wasn't angry. I don't want to be angry with him anymore, I'm done all I want is for him to be here with me, "I-I was so wor-worried."

"I'm sorry JunHong, I didn't mean to make you worry. I just wanted to protect you, all of you." I was enveloped by that heat once more as he pulled me into his chest. My eyes snapped open and the tears ceased flowing. He called me by my name…I wasn't supposed to like it. No one called me by my name except my parents and I hate them, but when Yongguk-Hyung said my name it fit; it belonged on his tongue.

Looking up at him I gave him a lope sided grin to which he returned with that amazing gummy smile of his. Suddenly a thought came to me, what about Himchan-Hyung? Pushing back out of Hyung's hug I looked over at Jongup-Hyung who was now standing giving us a soft smile. "Hey where's Himchan?"

My stomach churned and I felt cold all over as Jongup's face turned to an angered expression. The way his fists balled at the side and his eyes narrowed just went to show that something is wrong. I looked over at Yongguk to see a similar look on his face. I felt my hands move to my chest as a defense mechanism for whatever they are about to tell me, "Wh-what?" I asked. Please, please don't let him be dead. Please, I don't think I can live without him. Tears came to my eyes once more as Jongup plopped down on the couch, clutching his knees tell his knuckles flushed white.

"Zelo, Hi-Himchan's," I could feel the anger radiating off of Yongguk-Hyung as he spoke each word, "He's been Kidnapped."

My legs grew weak and I felt myself fall to the ground on my knees. Yongguk-Hyung fell with me and wrapped his arms around me. I looked up at him with teary eyes, "He-he's okay right?" I asked. Who would do such a thing!? Who took him out of my life?

"Come over here, I need to show you something." Yongguk-Hyung helped me to my feet and over to the couch where Jongup seemed to have relaxed a little, but his shoulders where still tense. I felt numb; all of this-this shit! Why is it all happening now?!

Sitting next to me Yongguk-Hyung opened the lap top that was sitting on top of the coffee table. My eyes widened as the first thing I saw was Himchan; he looked horrible. I wanted to cry some more, but Yongguk wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side. My eyes scanned over the image; someone was obviously holding my cousin by his blond hair in front of the camera. His lip was busted and blood dripped down the sides of his mouth. His left eye was swollen shut and a nasty purple and green. His face and chest, from what was visible, was covered in bruises. What kind of monster could do this to another human being? _I'm going to kill them._ Himchan-Hyung. I shut my eyes, I didn't want to see this anymore, and of course that wasn't the end of it. Soon I could hear noises coming from the computer. Grunts and yells of pain, slowly I opened my eyes to see two men punching and kicking Himchan. Both wore masks and black clothing, but the holes around their eyes and mouth didn't stop from showing the evil glint in their eyes or the sadistic smirk on their lips. Just as I was about to let out a sob the image cut away to show a man sitting in a chair, but you could tell that he was still in the same room as Himchan, the walls were the same dirty concrete and his cries still filled the air.

"Shut him up will you!" The man barked. This guy had a shaved head and small piercing brown eyes; just looking at him sent a shiver up my spine. He was dressed in a rather expensive looking black suit and he just screamed money and power. I heard a muffle scream and I knew that they must have shoved something in his mouth, just the thought made me cringe. "Good, now then, Yongguk how have you been?" My eyes widened at the fact that the man that is holding me in his arms knows the _monster_ that kidnapped my Himchan-Hyung. "Well as you can see I have one of your little friends here and you know he's still as cute and feisty as ever. You know he almost killed two of my men when we were trying to snatch him right up just a couple days ago," Himchan has been with those pieces of shit for two days! I felt like throwing up. I wanted to turn away, I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut and never open them again, but my hazel orbs stayed glued to the computer screen. "Well any way, I just want to let you know that if you don't show yourself then this pretty little thing is going to die, sounds like a fair price right? Your life for Himchan here, after all considering what you have done to me, it's only fair!"

The man's voice rose and I could hear the venom drip from his lips. Who is he? Suddenly Himchan was through at the man's feet, his head landing on the man's lap, and that when I realized that his hands where bound behind his back and his legs were tied at the ankle. "Now then, you have tell tomorrow to come to me or I will kill him." The man fisted his hand into Himchan's hair and yanked roughly so that Himchan was looking up into the camera. A dirty rage was stuffed into his mouth, stopping the scream that was written all over his face and tears that slid down his cheeks. "Say bye Himchannie." The man mocked as he took his other hand and gripped Himchan's jaw, thrusting his body foreword. Then the screen went dark and I realized just how silent the room was. For some time no one said anything and you could just feel the sadness fit around you like a perfectly fitted coat.

I looked over to Yongguk-Hyung who still looked angry, but at the same time he seemed calm and collected. It was like you could see the wheels turning in his head, "Who-who was that?" I asked in a small voice. I was still shaken up by the whole situation. Yongguk reached out and closed the computer before leaning back into the couch, closing his eyes and let out a deep sigh.

"His name is Kang Saeryun and he's a terrible excuse for a human." Jongup-Hyung said and the look in his eyes said it all. He was pissed, but in his eyes I could see that he will get Himchan back, even if it kills him. And I will do the same, he was the one who saved me, who took me in and I will not let his kindness go unanswered.

"Why does he have Himchan?" I demanded to know. It's no use wallowing in sadness, I need to get him back and that means I need to understand who the hell this bastard is!

"He's trying to get revenge, "Yongguk said, never once opening his eyes, "On me."

Why?! Why?! Why?! These bastards, they're always complaining that I am keeping secrets from them and that I need to open up so that I can have their trust and here they are keeping something behind their backs that are bringing Himchan-Hyung hurt.

"Why!? What the fuck is going on!?" This isn't me; this isn't my voice…Righty-o Zelo, now just sit back and I will handle all of this hard stuff.

Alternate Zelo's POV

I sat up straight and mustered up the evilest glare I could aimed at Yongguk and Jongup. They will tell me wither they like it or not. I will not stand for them hurting Zelo. Yongguk seemed to understand because he straightened himself out and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry Z, I-I didn't want any of this to happen…all I wanted was for this part of my life to be out of the picture forever and I'm so so so sorry that it came back up like this, especially at this time." Yongguk rested his head in his palms that rubbed at his brown eyes, "This is all my fault! I should have just killed him after what happened to my brother!" I jumped as he slammed his fist into the glass coffee table. I was surprised that it did not break under the force of his hand.

"Look Zelo, before all of this we were in a gang…" Jongup-Hyung butted in. My head shot towards him, and I felt so confused. A gang? WTF! This seems like some idiot plot twist in those clichéd fucked up drama's old ladies and desperate house wives watch. "Yongguk and Himchan broke free from it after a certain incident, but I, Youngjae, and Daehyun are still running it." He continued. I looked to Yongguk for confirmation, but he was still looking at the ground.

"It wasn't just any incident Jongup!" Yongguk snapped, finally looking up, "That bastard killed my brother! I was not just going to let him walk away without any consequences." His voice cracked and I swore I could hear him choking back tears.

So this Saeryun fella' killed Yongguk's brother and Yongguk did what? They cannot just make it simple can they?! "What-what did you do to him? If anything you should have done something to him?" I asked.

"I did…I killed his cousin," He said looking at me with a worn out expression. He seemed so tired, I just wanted to reach out and pull him close to my heart and never let him go, "I shot him right in the head."

"So now he has Himchan because you two killed someone important to one another!?" I asked with a heated tone. I can't believe this; you think they would be considered even considering. But no~~ lets just carry on the cycle of hate and destruction because I feel bad about myself and now I must make others suffer. What fucking idiots!

All Yongguk and Jongup did was nod their heads. I sighed and rubbed at my temple in frustration. "So now all this shit is coming back because of…" I trailed off so that he can finish my sentence.

"It's because he saw me that day we went to the grocery story…I guess it sparked the hate he felt for me or some shit like that…I'm sorry Z."

The anger inside me rose. I can't believe that this guy had been planning this since the first time I moved in with Yongguk and I can't get over the fact that Yongguk and the rest of them are not doing anything to get Himchan back! I mean we should be out there right now on our way to this bastards place and busting down the front door to get him back! I stood to my feet. I could feel my anger heat up my body and cause my hands to shake as I ball them at my sides, my nails digging into my skin.

"Z~" Yongguk reached out to grab my hand but I pulled back. I didn't want to be touched, in fact I don't even want to be in the same room as these two.

"Why aren't we out there getting Himchan back!?" I demanded to know.

Yongguk and Jongup exchanged looks, "We can't," My heart felt as though it snapped in two, "We don't have a plan of attack." Jongup said.

I glared at them, "Who needs a plan! We should just go in there and beat the crap out of them and save Himchan!"

Yongguk stood up and glared back at me, "Z that's not how this works, if we do that then we all end up dying and then who will be left to save Himchan! Huh?! Huh!?"

Tears brimmed the corners of my eyes and they threatened to fall, but I couldn't allow that. Especially in front of them. I feel so angry, so pissed off.

"Fine then!" I snapped turning on my heels and running to the front door. I could hear Yongguk and Jongup call my name as I carry Zelo out of the apartment and out of the building onto the streets. It's still early morning and there is not that many people walking along the street. I easily ran past them all and with no particular location in mind I just allow my feel to carry me.

If they won't do anything then I will! I will find a way to locate this ass wipe and then take him down and save Himchan! I will do this for Zelo. He deserves this and it's not fair that so many things keep getting in the way of his happiness!

"Hey JunHong!" I stopped in my tracks and whipped around to see a man calling me from a small black van. Okay this is highly suspicious and creepy, "You are JunHong, right?" He asked and I remained still and quiet. Don't talk to strangers. "I hear you're looking for Himchan? Right? Right. Well I just so happen to know where he is!" The man said with a huge smile on his thin lips. I wanted to ask him what the fuck he is talking about and how he even knows our names, but suddenly a searing pain raced through my head.

What the fuck? I could feel my eyes grow heavy as someone wrapped their arms around my chest and lifted me up, my feet dragging against the sidewalk as the person drug me towards the van. I wanted to fight back, but it was as if all my strength has been drained from my body. I can't move!

"The boss is going to be happy." The one carrying me, who now dropped me in the back of the van said as he too climbed in, closing the door behind him.

"Yeah, he is. I wonder why he wants the kid anyway?" The one who first spoke to me said as he started the van and drove off down the road.

"It's to get that Yongguk back!"

Yongguk, please, please hurry. I'm losing consciousness! I can't I need to save Himchan! I need to get Zelo back to Yonggu-

~THE END~

A/N: Sorry guys that this is so late! I just had a lot of stuff to do, but here you go! This one is longer than the others so I hope you enjoy.


	12. Claw Marks Up Your Spine

Rap To My Heart Beat

Chapter Twelve: Claw Marks Up Your Spine

Yongguk's POV

"Zelo!" My voice carried and bounced off the tall apartment buildings that surrounded me. I was running through the streets screaming out his name, but so far I got no answer. My heart was racing and my adrenaline was pumping. Where is he? He shouldn't have gotten that far, especially since he's barefoot. I mean WHY!? Why did I let him run off like that, I should have stopped him the moment he stood up; then none of this would be happening. All three of us would be on our way to see Daehyun and Youngjae and we would be getting Himchan back, but no~ I'm such a fucking dumb ass!

"Z! Come on Z enough games, come out!" My voice was becoming sore from all this screaming, either that or from all the tears I'm choking back.

"Yongguk!" My head whipped around jut as Jongup pulled alongside me in his car. He had a grim look on his face and his eyes were red around the edges, probably from holding back tears, he probably feels the same way I do about getting Zelo and Himchan back.

"Get in the car." His voice was thick and full of authority; the fact that Himchan is being held by that prick is not helping his mental state.

Not questioning his tone I walked over to the car and got in. It was warm in the car compared to outside where the wind had picked up and washed over the streets and raced around buildings. As soon as I closed the door Jongup placed a computer in my lap. Confusion must have been written all over my face because the only thing he did was just point at the screen with a nod of his head that gestured for me to move the mouse. Looking back at the screen I did just that and when it came to life my heart sank to my stomach. There on the screen was an image of Himchan. If it wasn't for the blood soaked blond hair and light hazel eyes it would have been hard to recognize him. His lips where building from multiple cuts along the skin and they were really plump and dark from being bruised. Blood ran down his face, probably from blows to his head. Just like in the last video his left eye was still swollen, but it seemed a little worse this time. It was surrounded by a harsh purple and dark yellow that made me cringe. I moved the mouse and pressed play on the video.

"Hello there Gukkie!" Saeryun's voice said in a high tone, "it's been a couple of days and you know I'm getting really-Fed-Up!" With each word he reached out from behind the camera and kicked Himchan in the gut causing him to double over and fall to the dirt cover floor. My knuckles began to turn white as I gripped the sides of the computer.

"And well, I was getting tired of this little play toy," He reached out and gripped a huge chunk of Himchan's hair and yanked him up to his knees once more, " And so I had my boys go out and get me a new one…say hello to Junhong, my new cute little boy toy." He turned the camera to the other side of the room where there was a small form curled up in the corner with chains on his wrists and ankles in the same manner as Himchan's.

My eyes narrowed and my brows knitted in anger, my teeth grounded against each other. This bastard is going to pay!

"Now then, if you want to see either of these guys again I suggest you come see me like I told you the first time! You cock sucking bastard!" As his voice rose near the end he reached out and landed a kick to Zelo's gut. I could feel my heart drop to my stomach and my fists tighten on my knees tell the knuckles turned a burning white. Zelo didn't scream, all that escaped his lips was a pained grunt and he squeezed his eyes shut, his hands moving to his stomach where he gripped his shirt. Then Saeryun placed his foot on Zelo's shoulder as his body turned and he moved the camera so that he was now looking into it and it was off Zelo, "I suggest you hurry…unless you want me to have some fun with this one." A wicked smile appeared across his lips and I had to keep myself from throwing the computer out the window.

"Yon-Yongguk…hel-help please." I could hear Zelo's voice in the back ground and I felt my heart break; it was small and full of pain. I didn't like it one bit, how could I have let this happen? The tears started to brim my eyes once more. 

"Shut up you stupid brat!" Saeryun turned his body but kept the camera in the same place so I couldn't see what happened with Zelo, all I could hear was his cracking scream. I could feel the computer sides giving under the pressure of me gripping it so tightly, "There much better, now you better hurry!"

The screen went dark…

I felt hallow, everything that had just happened flew through my head and I just stared at the black screen. This is really happening isn't it?

"Yo-Yongguk-Hyung?" I could feel Jongup's hand on my shoulder, but his touch seemed as light as a feather and it was as though I was numb, his touch was there but nothing was breaking through my skin. I couldn't comprehend my surroundings any more, "Come on boss…we have to-to get them back!" I shook my head as his words pierced my ears. His voice was filled with pain and you could tell he was on the brink of tears. Right…I need to be strong, for Jongup, for Himchan and especially for Zelo!

I tried to shake this emptiness I felt, but it was rather difficult; looking towards Jongup I nodded my headed. "Let's do this." It was like a new flame was lit inside my soul. I needed to get Zelo back and Himchan!

"That's the Yongguk I know!" As I closed the computer Jongup sped away from the curb to the BAP HQ.

Zelo's POV

It was cold…just like that basement. My head throbbed and my body curled in on itself, I tried to gain some more warmth by bringing my legs up but when they were restricted from moving any closer my head shot up and I yanked on my leg once more and the familiar sound of chains clanking filled my ears. My heart beat rapidly in my ears as I looked around the room I was in. Where was I? Then my eyes landed on a man chained to the floor across from me, and it was like a water gate was opened in my mind. Those men…they took me from Yongguk-Hyung.

My head whipped to the side and my eyes landed on the figure of a man lying on the dirt ground. His hands were bound behind his back and his legs came up to his chest. His body shook what I guessed from being cold, since he wore no shirt and the pants he had on were torn in various places. I could feel the tears stream down my cheeks and my throat became tight with fear.

Himchan-Hyung…that's Himchan. I couldn't stop myself from letting out a whimper as the tears now flowed with ease and abundance. My sobs and cries for Himchan bounced off the rock walls; and I tried to move closer to him, but the chains around my wrists and ankles was making it hard to maneuver. I need to get to him, there is blood pooling under his head. He needs me! I squeezed my eyes shut and curled in on myself. This is it, he's going to die and I can't do-

"Ze-Zelo?" A cracked voice pierced my cries and I looked through blond bangs to see Himchan shifting. My eyes widened and I sat up immediately, "Himchan! Are you okay?" My voice wavered as I tried to get as close to him as I could.

"I'm fine, Are you? They didn't tou-touch you did they?" He asked as he finally got his body up into a sitting position.

The tears slowly started to stop, but I couldn't help but feel like they are going to come gushing out again. This is why I love Himchan; he's always going to be there for me. I shook my head, telling him no as well as trying to calm down so that the tears don't come, "No-no, I'm fine."

"Tha-that's good, I'm glad." A faint smile appeared on his face but just as it came it quickly disappeared, and my furrow of his eye brows I know it caused him pain to move his facial muscles like that. I didn't like seeing him in pain; I don't want him to suffer. He's a nice person.

"Well well well, it seems you both are awake." My head snapped to the door where I saw the man from before, who was making that video for Yongguk, and then two henchmen that I've never seen before.

I could feel my face twist in anger as he strode more into the room and towards me.

"Let us go you bastard!" I yelled as him, but of course it had no effect as he just looked at me with a huge grin on his face.

"Hmm, seems you have some guts after all. I though you were just a scared wet kitten, but I guess I was wrong. It's okay though I like them a little feisty." His voice oozed with lust and I could feel a shiver run up my spine as he bent his head down to be face to face with me.

"Leave him alone Saeryun!" We both turned our heads to see Himchan trying to come towards us.

Saeryun? Who is this creep?

"Aww Himchan, your sure are a greedy one, we already had fun kicking the shit out of you, not it's our turn to play with JunHong." He reached out and gently grazed his hand along my cheek making my skin crawl and my body instinctively move away.

"Leave me and Himchan alone you creep." I spat.

A scream ripped from my throat as he roughly took hold of my hair and pulled my head back, "If I was you, I wouldn't talk back!" He spat, "Now then we are going to have some fun with you." He then moved his other hand to his pants and slowly started to zip down the crotch of his pants. My eyes widened in horror and the tears I was done shedding came back and slid down my cheeks. My world was crashing down around me and I felt numb to the whole situation.

"No! Stop, stop please! Take me, take me, just please leave him alone!" Saeryun turned his head to look at Himchan who was now crawling like a worm in our direction. His words brought me back to this reality and I looked over to him, "Take me, please you haven't done it yet, so come one you bastard just use me!"

Saeryun released my hair and I fell back on the ground, "Well Himchan I didn't know you were such a slut, I knew you were greedy but hot damn, this takes the cake." I tried to sit up again as he took a hold of Himchan's hair this time, "What do you say boys?" He asked look to the two henchmen, "Should we just take him?" The two men just grunted and nodded their heads as sick smiles came to their faces, "Well there you have it Himchannie!" He spoke in a sing song voice.

"No, no, no Himchan stop it, I can take it!" I yelled as the situation finally processed in my head.

Himchan gave me a stern look as he straightened his back and without saying anything he turned his head and looked up at Saeryun.

"No! Stop it I said, you can't do this. What about Jongup!? You can't do this!"

"Zelo," His voice broke my words before I could continue telling him to stop, "I'm doing this and that's final, now just close your eyes and turn away." His voice didn't waver as he continued to look at the monster before him. This time the tears will not stop. I didn't want this to happen, Yongguk…

"Yongguk where are you!?" I couldn't help the words shooting from my mouth, I need Yongguk, he needs to stop this.

"Ha! Bang! Please kid, he's not coming for you! He's a coward and he always will be!" Suddenly his pants were around his ankles and he was roughly yanking on Himchan's hair even though he was willingly opening his mouth.

I couldn't watch this anymore, it hurts, it really hurts!

Chapter End

A/N: Sooooo um ya here is that next chapter! 0 sorry it's not that great, but I was hit with the feel to write this story over and make it ten times more angsty and better, but I just can't abandon this version, so I'm still going to finish it, but I apologize if my lack of emotions cause my writing to be a little rough around the edges! Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much to all of those who have left me amazing comments and those that are really enjoying this story. Please hang on and I promise you, you will not be disappointed with the remake! THANK YOU SOO MUCH, I swear I can't thank you guys enough, it always makes my day to get feedback on my stories! \(=0=)/


	13. Bang Bang

Rap To My Heart Beat

Chapter Thirteen: Bang Bang

Yongguk's POV

"Are you guys ready?" I asked in a hushed whisper to the three men that surrounded me.

"Sure thing boss." Daehyun said with a smile on his face.

I couldn't help the small smirk that made its way to my lips, "Dae, I'm not your boss anymore." I slapped a hand on his shoulder and he returned my smile.

"You'll always be the boss Yongguk-Hyung. I mean you're the one who started this family." Youngjae chimed in.

These guys were right! I'm their leader, and I need to watch out for them all, including Himchan so as the Leader I will get everyone out of this alive.

"Thanks guys, now you all know your job, so go make in happen." They nodded their heads and Youngjae and Daehyun took off to the back of the building. I looked to Jongup who nodded his head in understanding of what I want to do next. "Let's go."

The building was massive, with only one floor and a basement; the corridors where long and sometimes they seemed endless. As we walked, me facing the front and Jongup watching our rear, we kept quiet both of us trying to listen for any indication as to where they are. So far we have not seen a single soul, but then again we were trying to avoid people any way. I don't want to kill anyone but Saeryun. I already have too much blood on my hands and I know Zelo wouldn't want me too. Even though I had a gun in my hand, I hoped I didn't have to use it.

"Dae and Jae probably already found the security room, so we don't have to worry about the cameras." Jongup said, trying to fill in the silence around us.

"Yeah, let's head to the basement." I said as my eyes landed on an elevator at the end of the hall. He nodded his head and slowly fallowed behind me.

Getting to the end of the hall I peeked around the corners to make sure no one was coming, which there wasn't. Giving Jongup the symbol he moved ahead of me and just as he was about to push the down button the doors slid open. Quickly Jongup moved to the side of the elevator and I jumped to the other side so they would not see me when they first step off. Two men stepped out of the elevator, both where pretty tall, dressed in normal black attire. In a swift movement I knocked the first guy out with the butt of my gun; well Jongup did the same with the man near him. Hopefully the others go as smoothly as this. Before the doors closed we slipped inside and waited for it to come to a stop.

Himchan's POV 

"Look Kyung, he already looks like he's ready for another round! What a slut!" The man in front of me said as he took a chunk of my hair and pulled me foreword so that we were eye to eye. He wore a huge smile on his lips and his eyes narrowed in glee. I wanted to call out for help, to tell them to stop, but I couldn't not if I wanted them to leave Zelo alone. I have to endure all of this so that he doesn't have to live through it ever again. I only wish they would stop making him watch. He doesn't need to see any of this. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to swallow the lump in my throat, as well as trying to get the tears to stop wanting to flow free from my eyes.

"Open your eyes!" He snapped, yanking harder on my roots. A small groan slipped past my lips and I slowly opened my eyes. "Much better, now then, let's start round two." The man reached for his pants zipper and slowly started to pull it down. I wanted to close my eyes, to turn away and run.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Zelo laying on the ground his eyes looking in my direction, but I knew he wasn't really SEEING, so to speak. I wanted to reach out to him, to hold him and to tell him that everything's going to be okay. DAMN IT! Yongguk, Jongup where ar-

Before I could even finish my thought two loud noises rang through the air and the man in front of me slowly tipped over and crashed to the ground near my side. Wide eyes I looked towards the door where Jongup stood with his gun still in the air and a burning rage in his eyes. The other man, Kyung, was also lying on the ground with blood seeping from a bullet hole in his head. This time the tears did fall and I wanted to run to him and hung him, but he beat me to it. Jongup came to my side, "Himchannie, oh Himchan I'm so sorry." I could hear the tears in his voice as it cracked. He dropped to his knees and quickly rustled through the guys clothing and shortly after pulling out a ring with a key on it. Undoing the bindings on my wrists and ankles he turned to Yongguk who had rushed to Zelo's side, "Yongguk!" He tossed the keys and then turned back to me.

"Here put this on." He quickly removed his jacket and slid it around my body, covering me up. I reached out and pulled him into a hug. This time I couldn't stop the tears and he only made it worse when he frantically kissed my face and neck, not leaving a single space untouched, "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, my love." He whispered between kisses. God how I missed him.

Zelo's POV

"Zelo, Zelo are you okay, talk to me." I could hear a familiar voice calling my name, but I felt as though I couldn't move. My world had stopped and everything around me and I became so insensate to all these emotions that swam through my mind. I want Yongguk-Hyung.

"Zelo, come on!" I could feel my arms and legs being moved, and shortly after I felt a little freer. Then suddenly my body was turned so that I was lying on my back looking up, but not at the ceiling. Above be sat Yongguk. It was like a switch gone off in my head and I immediately reached out and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him down in a hug.

"Yon-Yongguk." My voice was hoarse and it hurt to talk, but I had to say his name, I had to make sure this was real. His arms snaked around my chest and he held me even closer.

"It's okay Zelo, I'm here." I never wanted to leave his arms, but it was a must if we ever wanted to get out of here. Slowly he released me and rose, reaching out a hand to me; I took it and stood on shaky legs.

"You ready, Himchan, Jongup?" He asked looking over to the two who also rose to their feet.

"Yeah, let's get this bastard." Jongup said, and Himchan just nodded his head. I could tell he was worn out, but I doubt he would want to leave. I think he wants to see this bastard die as much as Yongguk.

We made our way out of the room and just as we did so we ran right into Daehyun and Youngjae. "Himchan, Zelo I am so glad to see you guys!" Daehyun said as a huge smile appeared on his face. I could tell he wanted to hug us, but he refrained from doing so and just looked to Yongguk.

"Plant some in this room, and then finish up and get out, we are going to go see Saeryun and we will be right behind you guys." He said. I was confused by what he ment, but as soon as my eyes landed on the small contraption in Youngjae's hands it all became clear. They plan to blow this place sky high, and I wasn't going to complain.

"You got it, and by the way he's in a room in the corner of the basement, right down that hall, " He said pointing to the corridor to our left, " and just outside the room is a hatch leading to the west side of the building. I preset the bombs to go off in twenty minutes so I suggest you hurry." With that Yongguk turned to the rest of us.

"All of you get out with Dae and Jae, I'll do this by myself." Jongup locked eyes with Yongguk and without saying a word something passed between them and he nodded his head.

"Nope! Don't even try it Yongguk," Himchan interrupted before I had a chance to object to this plan, "Saeryun is my enemy to and I have his blood on my hands as well, so we are doing this together. No ifs ands or buts got it! And besides I don't think Zelo is going to let you do this alone as well." He looked at me and flashed me a quick smile before turning back to Yongguk with a stern look.

Yongguk held Himchan's stare but it wasn't soon that he broke the contact and sighed, "Fine, fine, but let's hurry up!" With that the four of us rushed down the hall well Daehyun and Youngjae went into the room to finish their job.

I was glad that Himchan made Yongguk take us. I didn't want him to be alone. We rounded a corner and straight ahead I could see the exit that Dae was talking about, so just right off to the corner is this Saeryun. Yongguk and Jongup made sure that they were in front of us, considering they were the only ones with guns. Me and Himchan stayed close to the wall just it case. When we came to the corner Jongup stopped and glanced around the side and immediately turned back. He held up two fingers indicating that there were two guys. I know he didn't want to kill the guys, but it's not like he has another option, so I placed my hand on his shoulder. He looked back at me and I nodded my head. He nodded back with soft eyes and turned back to Jongup where he nodded once more.

Quickly they both flew around the corner and two shots could be heard, then suddenly a couple more. The nose made me jump and I wanted to run away out of fear, but I couldn't not without Yongguk. When there were no more gun shots I and Himchan came out from behind the wall to see five guys laying on the floor with quiet some bullet holes in their bodies. I felt like I was going to throw up and I think Yongguk sensed that because he turned to face me and told me look at him, "Just keep looking at me okay, now come on."

Walking to the room where the men had come out from we walked in. Yongguk and Jongup had their guns trained to the man that sat behind a desk along the far wall. He rested his arms on the desk, with his hands folded. He didn't seem to surprised that we were here; in fact he looked fairly calm and sad.

"It's all over now Saeryun." Yongguk said making his way to him, so that he was now standing in front of him.

"I suppose it is Yongguk, it's been awhile since we were in a situation like this." He said his voice soft and full of hurt. This wasn't the man who kidnapped me or hurt Himchan. He seemed different, like he just realized everything he had done was wrong and that he was feeling guilty for it all, but even if that was true, there is no way none of us could forgive him, "What's it been, since your brother and my cousin had died, two years?"

Jongup lowered his gun and Himchan took a step forward so that he was standing next to Yongguk, "Yes." Yongguk spoke, his voice slightly cracking. All the pieces were fitting together in my mind; this man just wanted revenge because of some terrible choices that were made years ago. This is why I hate the human race.

"Did you ever think this was going to work out, that you were going to kill me and Yongguk? This has brought nothing but more pain. Now you are going to die and nothing will be accomplished but more pain." Himchan kept his voice at a low pitch, but with the silence of the room everyone was able to hear his words.

"You are right Himchan, you are right. I wanted to cause pain but more than that I want the pain to end." He spoke, His arms dragged down so that they rested in his lap, but that movement had caused everyone to be on alert, and Jongup raised his gun once more.

"Don't worry, I have no gun, I already knew this was going to happen the moment I saw you enter the building." He spoke with tired eyes.

"There is no use prolonging this; good bye Kang Saeryun." Yongguk said as he moved a little closer.

"Good bye Bang Yongguk, I am glad to die by a strong hand such as yours." Saeryun closed his eyes, but just as Yongguk was about to pull back on the trigger, Saeryun whipped his hand up and a loud bang filled our ears. His body fell limp in his chair and the gun he had held in his hand dropped to the ground with a heavy thud. All of us stood frozen for a moment.

He had killed himself…

We stood some distance away as the building exploded. The flames licked the sky as parts of the building combusted one right after the other. Sirens could be heard in the back ground, which meant it was time for us to get out of here. None of us really knew what to do after just what happened.  
>"Boss, I have all the footage of us, me and Youngjae are going to get out of here." Daehyun said as he lifted a backpack.<p>

Yongguk nodded his head and let out a small sigh, "Okay let's all go home and we will wrap all the loose ends up tomorrow."

"Good, Come on Himchan, I need to get you to a doctor." Jongup said wrapping an arm around Himchan, but before he turned to leave he looked at Yongguk, "Thanks Bang." Yongguk nodded his head and gave him a soft knowing smile.

"Come on Zelo, let's go." Himchan spoke.

"Can I just stay with Yongguk, for tonight?" I asked. I could tell Himchan was a little hesitant, but just a couple seconds later he nodded his head, "Yeah, I will come see you tomorrow."

"Thank you." I said.

"Alright let's head out before the police get here." Yongguk said and I followed him to his car as everyone else went to theirs.

Yongguk's POV

The drive was silent as I made our way to my apartment. I didn't know what to say, all the events of today were on repeat in my head, and all I wanted to do right now was go home and sleep with Zelo next to me. After everything that we have been through I just want him by my side.

"You should have killed him." His words pierced the silence around us, and for some reason I couldn't quiet understand what he had just said.

I glanced over to him and then back at the rode, "What?" I asked.

"You should have killed Saeryun when we first walked into the room. He hurt Himchan and us." Zelo looked over at me with a bitter glint in his eyes.

Confusion washed over me along with a small pit of dread growing in my stomach. "What are you saying, Z? You-"

A mischievous smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. It looked cold and completely misplaced on his otherwise innocent face. "Wrong guess, Gukkie."

It hit me like a wave of ice water. If we weren't already stopped at a red light I probably would have crashed the car as realization set in. My eyes grew wide and I gaped at him. A car behind us was honking but the sound seemed to grow distant from this unreal situation as I stared at Junhong, my mouth hanging open and feeling like I just got punched in the gut and had all the air knocked out of me. "How long have you been the other Zelo?" I finally managed to choke out.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Junhong hummed out as he sat back in the passenger seat looking for all of the world he was getting comfortable for a long stay.

~THE END~

A/N: HAFSLOHGFIYEGRFOIWEUHFAFHIUSDHGFIUWE! This is it folks, I hope you all enjoyed my story and I hope you read the remake I will get out soon. Merry Christmas for those who celebrate it and Happy Holidays.

All credit for the ending goes to my twin who's a panda from Canada (And yes she exists outside of my head, most the time.) You guys can thank her for killing you with feels.

Thank you for all the comments and subscriptions and votes I got for this! You are all wonderful! (~^o^)~


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